Feeds

Kidnapped footballing sheep transferred to eBay

'Give me your money, or the sheep gets it'

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

The peace of a January Tuesday was shattered this morning when the following missive dropped onto the Vulture Central doormat, its individual letters cut-and-pasted from a copy of The Sun in the traditional style:

Supporters of Shrewsbury Town Football Club have kidnapped the partner of a Carlisle United supporter after their recent shock victory over their Cumbrian rivals. In an unprecedented move, they have decided to ransom this member of the Gretna-wannabees via eBay.

Any funds raised are intended to go to the survivors of one of the most hellish journeys ever, Shrewsbury to Carlisle for a midweek evening match three years ago, with the match cancelled at the last minute, after being assured the whole day through the game was never in doubt.

Concerns are high for the hostage, Myfanwy, as being near-neighbours to the Welsh Border, we've learnt quite a bit about things to do with sheep (although these allegations have never been proved).

Freedom for the Carlisle One? Let's hope so, eh?

Myfanwy the Carlisle sheepWell, initial investigations indicate that Myfanwy the Carlisle sheep is indeed being held on eBay awaiting a terrible fate in around six days' time if the required wonga is not forthcoming.

As the seller's payment instructions chillingly state: "Give me your money, or the sheep gets it". The clock is ticking, make no mistake. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.