Feeds

Kidnapped footballing sheep transferred to eBay

'Give me your money, or the sheep gets it'

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

The peace of a January Tuesday was shattered this morning when the following missive dropped onto the Vulture Central doormat, its individual letters cut-and-pasted from a copy of The Sun in the traditional style:

Supporters of Shrewsbury Town Football Club have kidnapped the partner of a Carlisle United supporter after their recent shock victory over their Cumbrian rivals. In an unprecedented move, they have decided to ransom this member of the Gretna-wannabees via eBay.

Any funds raised are intended to go to the survivors of one of the most hellish journeys ever, Shrewsbury to Carlisle for a midweek evening match three years ago, with the match cancelled at the last minute, after being assured the whole day through the game was never in doubt.

Concerns are high for the hostage, Myfanwy, as being near-neighbours to the Welsh Border, we've learnt quite a bit about things to do with sheep (although these allegations have never been proved).

Freedom for the Carlisle One? Let's hope so, eh?

Myfanwy the Carlisle sheepWell, initial investigations indicate that Myfanwy the Carlisle sheep is indeed being held on eBay awaiting a terrible fate in around six days' time if the required wonga is not forthcoming.

As the seller's payment instructions chillingly state: "Give me your money, or the sheep gets it". The clock is ticking, make no mistake. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Driving business with continuous operational intelligence
Introducing an innovative approach offered by ExtraHop for producing continuous operational intelligence.