Feeds

Kidnapped footballing sheep transferred to eBay

'Give me your money, or the sheep gets it'

Build a business case: developing custom apps

The peace of a January Tuesday was shattered this morning when the following missive dropped onto the Vulture Central doormat, its individual letters cut-and-pasted from a copy of The Sun in the traditional style:

Supporters of Shrewsbury Town Football Club have kidnapped the partner of a Carlisle United supporter after their recent shock victory over their Cumbrian rivals. In an unprecedented move, they have decided to ransom this member of the Gretna-wannabees via eBay.

Any funds raised are intended to go to the survivors of one of the most hellish journeys ever, Shrewsbury to Carlisle for a midweek evening match three years ago, with the match cancelled at the last minute, after being assured the whole day through the game was never in doubt.

Concerns are high for the hostage, Myfanwy, as being near-neighbours to the Welsh Border, we've learnt quite a bit about things to do with sheep (although these allegations have never been proved).

Freedom for the Carlisle One? Let's hope so, eh?

Myfanwy the Carlisle sheepWell, initial investigations indicate that Myfanwy the Carlisle sheep is indeed being held on eBay awaiting a terrible fate in around six days' time if the required wonga is not forthcoming.

As the seller's payment instructions chillingly state: "Give me your money, or the sheep gets it". The clock is ticking, make no mistake. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS
Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.