Feeds

Tesco unwraps musical Xmas sandwich

Oh good, singing lunch

The Power of One Infographic

Those readers who love Xmas and the traditional, relentless, three-month orgy of capitalism which precedes it will be delighted to learn that they can now celebrate the season of goodwill to all men while sitting at their desks - thanks to the Tesco musical Xmas sandwich.

Yup, the UK supermarket monolith has ignored the cautionary tenet which states "Just because no-one's thought of it doesn't mean it's a good idea" (think sea urchin and jojoba extract brandy, for example) and has placed one of those infernal chips from musical greetings cards in its turkey and cranberry sauce sandwich packaging. According to Ananova, the melodious nosh "plays a medley of classic Christmas tunes including Jingle Bells, Santa Claus is Coming to Town and We Wish You a Merry Christmas".

Tesco spokesman Jonathan Church said: "The concept of musical sandwiches is something we've been looking at for a while now and we thought Christmas would be the perfect time. If they prove to be as successful as we think then we will consider a whole range of musical sandwiches.

"One idea already under consideration is working with record companies to launch songs by new artists on the market by way of the musical sandwich."

Terrific. We look forward to the Black Sabbath bat and lettuce sandwich. In the meantime, feel free to nip down to Tesco and grab a musical Xmas sandwich. Before opening it, though, please get on a plane to Chile and proceed directly to the remotest part of the Atacama desert where you will be free to enjoy your singing lunch without the risk of physical assault. Thankyou. ®

Musical bootnote

It gets worse. According to an inside source: "You didn't hear it from me, but a musical salad is due for launch next week. My sources tell me that Tesco staff are on the verge of mutiny ;-)"

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.