Feeds

Tesco unwraps musical Xmas sandwich

Oh good, singing lunch

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

Those readers who love Xmas and the traditional, relentless, three-month orgy of capitalism which precedes it will be delighted to learn that they can now celebrate the season of goodwill to all men while sitting at their desks - thanks to the Tesco musical Xmas sandwich.

Yup, the UK supermarket monolith has ignored the cautionary tenet which states "Just because no-one's thought of it doesn't mean it's a good idea" (think sea urchin and jojoba extract brandy, for example) and has placed one of those infernal chips from musical greetings cards in its turkey and cranberry sauce sandwich packaging. According to Ananova, the melodious nosh "plays a medley of classic Christmas tunes including Jingle Bells, Santa Claus is Coming to Town and We Wish You a Merry Christmas".

Tesco spokesman Jonathan Church said: "The concept of musical sandwiches is something we've been looking at for a while now and we thought Christmas would be the perfect time. If they prove to be as successful as we think then we will consider a whole range of musical sandwiches.

"One idea already under consideration is working with record companies to launch songs by new artists on the market by way of the musical sandwich."

Terrific. We look forward to the Black Sabbath bat and lettuce sandwich. In the meantime, feel free to nip down to Tesco and grab a musical Xmas sandwich. Before opening it, though, please get on a plane to Chile and proceed directly to the remotest part of the Atacama desert where you will be free to enjoy your singing lunch without the risk of physical assault. Thankyou. ®

Musical bootnote

It gets worse. According to an inside source: "You didn't hear it from me, but a musical salad is due for launch next week. My sources tell me that Tesco staff are on the verge of mutiny ;-)"

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.