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The Rotting Dog Blog: Utopian distemper and other musingsThe Rotting Dog Blog

Damn Limeys

November 27, 2005 - 20:11 pm

Jesus. Looks like the Limeys and the Spanish are kicking off about this CIA terror flight business. According to ListenToMe.me.me.uk the US has been transporting terrorists to camps in Poland or somesuch former Soviet republic in unmarked planes. Apparently, they stop off in London or Madrid to restock on airline food which they're force-feeding the bastards in order to break their will. These camps, btw, sound pretty gross. There's not even dial-up internet access or a coke machine and the al-Qaeda boys spend all day crammed in 1ft by 1ft cells while the psyops spooks blast David Hasselhoff's greatest hits through really crappy speakers.

Which is fair enough, I reckon. It's all very well the Brits whining about human rights and landing rights but they'd be packing planes full of Arabs quicker than you can say "Sinn Fein" if they had any first-hand experience at all of terrorism. Here's a recommendation for you bleeding-heart liberals over there in squirrel pie land: check out towelhead911armageddon.com if you want to see the real human cost of Islamic fundamentalism. Oh yeah, and have a look at stickitupyourjihad.com - it has a real cool Flash animation of Osama bin Laden doing the Moonwalk.

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Gook spooking

November 27, 2005 - 21:46 pm

Dad called to say that when he was in 'Nam back in 68 they used to spook the Gooks by playing Mongolian throat singing across Vietcong lines. It didn't have any apparent effect on the godless commies at the time, but the upshot of it is that Saigon now has the highest number of throat-singers per capita of any city outside of Ulaanbaatar.

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Mongolia my ass

November 28, 2005 - 10:24 am

Still in shock after downloading some Mongolian throat-singing mp3s from drmsucksafatone.ru. Jesus H Christ - they call that music? Had to lie down for an hour and put Hotel California on a continuous loop on my iPod.

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Like, wow

November 28, 2005 - 11:19 am

This just in: according to Bob Berserker's TechnoKrunch, the Umbongo Linux Collective has just updated its Firestorm browser. In case you haven't caught up with it yet, Firestorm 1.56/2 includes improved tab nest clustering, real-time metaintegration with the Krapulous RSS aggregator (Krap desktop only, but what the hey) and - wait for it - a big red button which says "order pizza". I don't think I'm ever going to leave the house again.

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Fire down below

November 28, 2005 - 15:41 pm

A panic-stricken call from one of the guys at the Linux users' group saying to get straight down to Java Cowboy's Blogodeedooda. Something about apocalypse vuln in Umbongo's Firestorm. At least I think that's what he said - most of it was a kind of strangled sobbing, sort of like bro' made when he found out Jodie Foster is a lesbian.

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Oh Jesus

November 28, 2005 - 15:46 pm

Here it is: Java Cowboy confirms there is a critical vulnerability in Firestorm 1.56/2 which allows a malicious Trojan quasiexecutable to penetrate the Virtual Blog Navigator. Once there, it waits for the user to enter the trigger phrase "mud wrestling Linux babes" into Google Porn, then trawls your browser history looking for stuff like Natalie Portman nip-slip sites, Angelina Jolie labial piercing galleries and Jodie Foster pornalike portals. It then conglomerates them into an annotated list and emails it to your mom and the FBI. Oh Jesus.

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Krikey

November 28, 2005 - 16:03 pm

Ok, according to Uncle Tom Cobbley's Hardware blog there's no effective patch yet for the "Shitstorm" Trojan - as it has now been dubbed by a hastily-convened international blog Soviet. Cobbley recommends erasing your browser history, disabling Virtual Blog Navigator, and switching to a locked-down Krikey browser in failsafe mode if you really have to have a Portman fix. Also, Cobbley says get rid of those collector's editions of Hustler before the Feds arrive.

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Done

November 28, 2005 - 16:43 pm

Done. Thought I'd got away with it until mom rang to ask why I had emailed her a list of recommended sites including opensourcefacials.nu. Jesus, I need a pizza and a beer.

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Sleepless night

November 29, 2005 - 09:06 am

I admit I didn't sleep well. Spent most of the night trying to think how I was going to explain to the FBI why I made 43 visits in a two-week period to ovinelolitas.com. I don't think my story about researching a master's paper into adolescent promiscuity in the Russian sheep community would hold up under interrogation - especially if I was being force fed airline food by CIA spooks in the back of a unmarked 767 en route to a holding camp in Eastern Europe.

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Sony sucks!

November 29, 2005 - 11:11 am

Feeling better. Got a scrampulse blogmissile from SonySucksCocksinHell to say that Sony BMG sales worldwide are down 0.004 percent as a direct result of the blogosphere embargo on the company's products. At that rate, Sony will be out of business by 2287. I expect my new 42in plasma to arrive by next Friday and then my Sony-buying days are over for good, make no mistake.

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Patch

November 30, 2005 - 06:57 am

Up at the crack of dawn to grab the Firestorm 1.56/2 "Shitstorm" patch. Once it's bolted onto the Virtual Blog Navigator I should be good to catch up on the latest news down at JediHardOn's Natalie Portman blogletch.

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What horseshit

November 30, 2005 - 09:32 am

Angry email from some guy called redhandofulster claiming that the IRA commited several terrorist atrocities on mainland Britain before U2's Bono brokered a peace deal between the Provos and the UK government.

What complete horseshit. Dad gave money to the IRA for years (he once shook hands with a man who owned an Irish setter, which pretty much makes you emerald green to the core in these parts) and there's no way he would give his hard-earned bucks to a bunch of armed maniacs.

In any case, everyone knows that it was the English imperialists who jackbooted their way across Ireland, and every one of 'em sneering like that Alan Rickman guy. To get the facts straight, just go see Mel Gibson in Cry Freedom! - its historical accuracy about the Irish struggle for emancipation is beyond criticism.

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1,113,493 responses to "What horseshit"

bonoisgod says:
November 30, 2005 - 09:40 am

i think you'll find actually that it was sting who brokered the peace deal between the ira and the british. bono was in the democratic republic of congo at the time giving some rebel guy an earbashing about the illegal trade in pirated u2 cds


celluloidpropellorhead says:
November 30, 2005 - 09:42 am

Don't make me laugh. Cry Freedom is packed with howlers. For instance, when Mel enters the sneering English guy's castle, he has his sword in his hand. However, in the next shot, it's back in its sheath. Also, in the sword fight between Mel and the sneering guy, the two swords visibly clash when Mel is pushed backwards over the table, but no sound of clashing swords is heard. There's a list of all 743 cock-ups at iurgentlyneedtogetalife.co.uk.


lambegdrum says:
November 30, 2005 - 09:47 am

bonoisgod wrote: i think you'll find actually that it was sting who brokered the peace deal between the ira and the british. bono was in the democratic republic of congo at the time giving some rebel guy an earbashing about the illegal trade in pirated u2 cds

Sting my arse. As every loyal Ulsterman knows it was the combined intervention of Enya and the Corrs, may Satan roast their melodical Fenian souls, which sold us out to the Provos.


blogpedant says:
November 30, 2005 - 10:11 am

celluloidpropellorhead wrote: Don't make me laugh. Cry Freedom is packed with howlers. For instance, when Mel enters the sneering English guy's castle, he has his sword in his hand. However, in the next shot, it's back in its sheath. Also, in the sword fight between Mel and the sneering guy, the two swords visibly clash when Mel is pushed backwards over the table, but no sound of clashing swords is heard. There's a list of all 743 cock-ups at iurgentlyneedtogetalife.co.uk.

Hey, great list, but you missed one: when Mel is kissing Whoopi Goldberg just before the English burn her at the stake (btw, wasn't she just fantasic as Joan of Arc?) he is clearly wearing the magical ring of Brian Boru, but when the camera cuts to a close-up of him giving Whoopi a goodbye pat on the backside, the ring is gone.


bonoisgod says:
November 30, 2005 - 10:23 am

lambegdrum wrote: Sting my arse. As every loyal Ulsterman knows it was the combined intervention of Enya and the Corrs, may Satan roast their melodical Fenian souls, which sold us out to the Provos.

no, enya just provided the haunting background music to which the accord was signed. as far as I am aware, the Corrs were on tour in Lithuania at the time.


gogglebox says:
November 30, 2005 - 10:41 am

blogpedant wrote: Hey, great list, but you missed one: when Mel is kissing Whoopi Goldberg just before the English burn her at the stake (btw, wasn't she just fantasic as Joan of Arc?) he is clearly wearing the magical ring of Brian Boru, but when the camera cuts to a close-up of him giving Whoopi a goodbye pat on the backside, the ring is gone.

It gets worse: when Mel is at the Sherriff of Nottingham's banquet disguised as Richard the Lionheart, he is seen eating a leg of roast boar with his left hand. The reverse-angle shot, though, has him holding it with his right hand.


lambegdrum says:
November 30, 2005 - 09:47 am

bonoisgod wrote: no, enya just provided the haunting background music to which the accord was signed. as far as I am aware, the Corrs were on tour in Lithuania at the time.

THIS ENTRY WAS DELETED FOR BREACH OF THE BLOGFELCH TERMS AND CONDITIONS


alanrickman1 says:
November 30, 2005 - 10:34 am

Sorry to bother you, but this tiresome stereotyping has really affected my career to the point where I am now reduced to sneering continuously through Harry Potter films. I'd ask you to look at some of my earlier work. In one film, I hardly sneer at all. Thankyou


I may be away for a while...

December 1, 2005 - 11:57 am

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED BY BLOGFELCH AT THE REQUEST OF THE FBI AS PART OF AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION INTO OVINE PAEDOPHILIA.

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