Feeds

Is this the worst corporate video ever?

Donna Summer crashes headlong into media solutions outfit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

We recently noted that Queen's We are the Champions had been voted the world's most fave song of all time - ever. Reader Ciaran Dolan has just written in to express surprise, if not dismay, that Dutch "media investment management" outfit MindShare's version of the 1983 Donna Summer smash She works hard for the money did not even make it into the top ten.

The company's blurb states:

MindShare was created in 1997 and designed to be the first truly global full-service media company. We are called MindShare because of our belief in collaboration and the integration of services with our people, our clients, creative partners, research partners, media owners and all other colleagues.

We believe 'mind share' is the ultimate measure of successful communication: combining with tangible business results.

To see for yourselves just what MindShare means by "innovative media solutions", check out its truly sensational promotional video version of the aforementioned ditty right here. Suffice it to say, the song has been retitled "We work hard for your money" and contains the immortal lines:

Planning various strategies,
Buying loads of GRPs,
And it's all about...
Knowing your consumers' needs.

Every client, big or small,
Is important to us all,
Group M is the name,
Buying power is our game.

Enough. For the record, Group M appears to be the global octopus to which MindShare is ultimately connected. Now, if you'll excuse us, we are all going to the pub to drink a huge quantity of scotch and stare blankly at the wall for the next three or four hours. ®

It gets worse

Impressed by the MindShare vid? Try this, courtesy of William Morrish:

That isnt bad at all, if you want the worst EVER corporate song you need to check out the Drupa tunes

Drupa is a print and publishing conference in dusseldorf which is held every 4 years, and each year they make a classic tune

http://www.messe-duesseldorf.de/drupa/en/sp_song_2.html

Drupa '96 (Id call it Umpa Umpa with a beat) includes these lines: drupa, drupa, drupa international printing an paper fair we welcome you to dusseldorf germany to see whats new in the graphics industry

Drupa '00 (more upbeat EuroDance) Its the time, its the place its the year

These are truly awful!

Yes they are. God preserve us all.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.