PETA seeks Europe's hottest veggie
Fun-loving and fur-free animal rights outfit PETA is looking for Europe's hottest veggies or vegans because, as the campaigning organisation puts it: "Vegetarianism has become synonymous with sexy."
Well, you might go and explain that to Paris Hilton, responsible earlier this year for millions of adolescent tumescences worldwide when she cavorted, bikini-clad, with a steaming Carl's Jr. Spicy BBQ Burger.
Nonetheless, according to PETA:
Hot vegetarian hunks include Chris Martin, Tobey McGuire, Brad Pitt, Joaquin Phoenix, Outkast’s Andre 3000 and Red Hot Chili Pepper Anthony Kiedis. Meat-free glam goddesses include Natalie Portman, Alicia Silverstone, Liv Tyler, Pam Anderson and siren songbirds Shania Twain and Joss Stone.
Yup, it's enough to have the most die-hard bacon sandwich aficionado running for a glass of virgin-thigh-rolled wheatgrass extract with added organic jojoba essence, make no mistake.
To enter, you have to be a veggie or vegan and resident in one of the countries listed on the PETA website. The list rather interestingly includes the Vatican City - that world-renowned breeding ground of waif-like, meat-eschewing supermodels.
And speaking of waif-like, as far as we are aware cocaine is a 100 per cent natural and animal-cruelty-free product, so no impediment there to entering if your entire diet consists of Bolivian marching powder and Bacardi Breezers.
The deadline for photographic entries (which should be "tasteful", meaning no naked poses with your laughing gear wrapped suggestively round a meat-substitute sausage) is 9 December. The finalists will appear on PETA's website and two lucky winners - one male and one female as selected by you, the public - will receive some fabulous, fabulous prizes.
Plus, no doubt, a $1m contract to pose for the Non-Genetically-Modified Soya Product Marketing Board's 2006 calendar, shot entirely outside the gates of Huntingdon Life Sciences. ®