Feeds

St. Fister cured of Itanic wickedness

The final miracle

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

The fourth and likely last Itanic miracle has occurred with St. Fister – he of the blessed hand – being cured of all the chip’s wickedness and beastly impulses.

Mike Fister once worked as Intel’s server processor chief. In this role, he managed to make Itanium processor hatred disappear with but a wave of his arm and a disarming guffaw. St. Fister’s powers were so prolific that he healed a student and two analysts. The chaps once despised Intel’s 64-bit chip but grew to love it - in an instant.

Now, as CEO of Cadence, it seems that St. Fister has been removed of his powers and instead infected by the gospel of IBM and Sun Microsystems – both Itanic haters.

During a presentation today at the Fall Processor Forum in San Jose, the miracle occurred in front of a room full of unsuspecting chip engineers.

“We use a supercomputer . . . with IBM technology of all things,” St. Fister confessed.

Gasp! The RISC lords have spoken! St. Fister has been touched by Power.

With this revelation behind him, St. Fister went on to demonstrate Cadence’s design tools working to improve Sun server performance. Oh, how Sun could have used such power when Fister’s Itanium was busy crushing an UltraSPARC IIi chip.

Fister’s miracle is unique in that he turned on Itanic, while the others embraced it. Berkeley student graduate student Nick Weaver despised Itanic one day and then loved it the next. Former Merrill Lynch star analyst and hardware god Steve Milunovich also rejected Itanium’s costly ways once only to pronounce it an “industry standard” a few months later. The Loon surely was overcome by visions, as no one clear of St. Fister’s possession would dub the Itanic a standard of anything but failure. And the last healing occurred when analyst Joe Clabby declared Itanic a smashing success – in 2003!

Yesterday, however, Intel may have sealed Itanium’s fate by delaying the dual-core Montecito chip until mid-2006 because of mysterious “quality” concerns. Can HP and SGI survive on the massive Madison processor until then? Only if they too are blessed by a miracle.

It’s great to see that St. Fister – he who pushed Itanic hardware than anyone else – can embrace competing products with such open arms. Forgiveness is meant to be a virtue. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
It's Big, it's Blue... it's simply FABLESS! IBM's chip-free future
Or why the reversal of globalisation ain't gonna 'appen
IBM storage revenues sink: 'We are disappointed,' says CEO
Time to put the storage biz up for sale?
'Hmm, why CAN'T I run a water pipe through that rack of media servers?'
Leaving Las Vegas for Armenia kludging and Dubai dune bashing
Microsoft and Dell’s cloud in a box: Instant Azure for the data centre
A less painful way to run Microsoft’s private cloud
Facebook slurps 'paste sites' for STOLEN passwords, sprinkles on hash and salt
Zuck's ad empire DOESN'T see details in plain text. Phew!
Windows 10: Forget Cloudobile, put Security and Privacy First
But - dammit - It would be insane to say 'don't collect, because NSA'
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.