Feeds

Email makes you fat

Sport England combats electronic obesity menace

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Workers across Britain will this week celebrate "Email-Free Friday" - an initiative promoted by Sport England's Everday Sport campaign to encourage the desk-bound to get off their fat arses and circulate around their work environments with calorie-burning enthusiasm.

The reason is simple: emails make you fat. Long gone are the days when employees would run breathlessly to the human resources department to tell all and sundry that Tracy from accounts had been caught in the stationery cupboard administering sexual favours to Dave from transport - now it's all done electronically* and our waistlines are suffering as a result.

Sport England health advisor Dr Dorian Dugmore told the Observer: "We're losing millions of hours of exercise through the explosion of email. People email colleagues who sit next to them, never mind those who work on the other side of the office. We have to change people's lazy attitudes."

Experts reckon that upping activity levels by 10 per cent could save 6,000 lives and, crucially, £500m a year. The Observer cites the example of Phones 4U, where top dog John Caudwell has "banned his 2,500 staff from using email in the office". He explained: "We have email paralysis. If you have a cancer, you have to cut it out."

So there you have it. Accordingly, don't bother to finish reading this piece, resist the temptation to email it to a colleague and sprint as fast as you can to the lobby where you can tell your fellow smokers how much fitter you're feeling while puffing on a Silk Cut. Your heart and your waistline will thank you for it. ®

Bootnote

*We mean the dissemination of information, naturally. We have no doubt sexual favours are still administered personally in stationery cupboards across the UK, and quite right too.

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.