Feeds

The Blooker Prize: Small Pieces, Partially Digested

Right. Who flarted?

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Letters More than half of you who responded to our news of The Blooker Prize suggested that we'd made it all up. Surely no one could produce such drivel?

Sorry, it's true - and even as I write, people are vigorously debating who should take the credit for coining the word "blook" - which is a book of a blog, and "flook" - which is a film of the book of a blog.

What the fluck is all this, you ask?

Hmmm... fascinating. I wonder when the first blook blurning festival will be? Hopefully six months from now, hosted by the plublishers and complete with live effigies… please?

Seik


Good god.

Hear that sucking sound? That's the sound of the entire blogging community disappearing up it's own collective arse.

Now, I'm not a specialist in such things, but isn't a floock a kind of parasitic worm? How appropriate.

Thank you for publishing that, it has cheered me up no end.

Paul Leader


And the final point of all this emerging turgescence is : the blash. The blash is the final resting area of all these blooks and flooks, and bhacks and bleaders - situated right under the pilum which mashes it all to a pulp before conveying it to the furnace where it belongs.

In any case, I salute the official creation of blooks and flooks. That's two areas I will know I can safely avoid wasting my time in, as there will be nothing there that has any chance of being more valuable than the rantings of my neighbor.

It's likely going to take a lot of time, but one day the general public will come around to understanding that the availability of an abundance of personal views does not replace the publications of the informed few. Of course, that won't happen before those who call themselves journalists start actually doing their job instead of running the stories that are dictated to them by the powers that be.

Pascal Monnet


OK, I've finished blarfing now. Since it's a prize for books based on websites, the winner is clear: Any of the BOFH books. It's quite entertaining imagining the acceptance speech the BOFH and PFY would come up with.

Erik


Oh good Lord.

Screw the typography, the sentiment here is making me roll my eyes.

And "a contemporary, magic realist novel about wireless networking" made me shiver, although to be fair I haven't actually read the book so perhaps it's a timeless classic that I've judged harshly and unfairly by its description.

Paul


Good work with "Will you blother reading a bloring blook?"! Thanks for bringing it to light, twas very funny. It made me wonder why i even bother reading boingboing... they don't even have black helicopters.

Dan Williams


Thanks for the article regarding blooks. I was left rather queasy by the ideas in the article. Not so much the replacement of curling up with a book by sitting in an uncomfortable chair in front of a computer.

It was the thought of these New-Age salesmen fresh from the car-yards trying to sell us a new social technology that no one wants or needs which causes my bile to overflow.

Thankfully due to the Register's incisive cynicism I was able to hold on to my dinner. Thanks chaps.

Andrew Punch


Glad to be of service.

What's behind this latest garbage is the notion of a "collective intelligence", where the "hive mind" of the Interweb will enhance and improve an idea or piece of writing. That depends on who's reading of course - and some writing evidently starts its journey through the hive mind's neurons in such a terrible state that nothing can improve it. Take heed, as the idea underpins a great deal of today's techno utopian rhetoric: but it's really the sound of someone farting in a Californian hot tub. Which to date, has been an endless source of bubbles.

Finally, we draw your attention to research conducted in over thirty countries which looked at "problem-solving deficit disorder". The study of 100,000 children concluded that computer use had a deleterious effect on literacy. But I bet you didn't know how much. I didn't. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

10 ways wire data helps conquer IT complexity
IT teams can automatically detect problems across the IT environment, spot data theft, select unique pieces of transaction payloads to send to a data source, and more.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.