Feeds

The Blooker Prize: Small Pieces, Partially Digested

Right. Who flarted?

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Letters More than half of you who responded to our news of The Blooker Prize suggested that we'd made it all up. Surely no one could produce such drivel?

Sorry, it's true - and even as I write, people are vigorously debating who should take the credit for coining the word "blook" - which is a book of a blog, and "flook" - which is a film of the book of a blog.

What the fluck is all this, you ask?

Hmmm... fascinating. I wonder when the first blook blurning festival will be? Hopefully six months from now, hosted by the plublishers and complete with live effigies… please?

Seik


Good god.

Hear that sucking sound? That's the sound of the entire blogging community disappearing up it's own collective arse.

Now, I'm not a specialist in such things, but isn't a floock a kind of parasitic worm? How appropriate.

Thank you for publishing that, it has cheered me up no end.

Paul Leader


And the final point of all this emerging turgescence is : the blash. The blash is the final resting area of all these blooks and flooks, and bhacks and bleaders - situated right under the pilum which mashes it all to a pulp before conveying it to the furnace where it belongs.

In any case, I salute the official creation of blooks and flooks. That's two areas I will know I can safely avoid wasting my time in, as there will be nothing there that has any chance of being more valuable than the rantings of my neighbor.

It's likely going to take a lot of time, but one day the general public will come around to understanding that the availability of an abundance of personal views does not replace the publications of the informed few. Of course, that won't happen before those who call themselves journalists start actually doing their job instead of running the stories that are dictated to them by the powers that be.

Pascal Monnet


OK, I've finished blarfing now. Since it's a prize for books based on websites, the winner is clear: Any of the BOFH books. It's quite entertaining imagining the acceptance speech the BOFH and PFY would come up with.

Erik


Oh good Lord.

Screw the typography, the sentiment here is making me roll my eyes.

And "a contemporary, magic realist novel about wireless networking" made me shiver, although to be fair I haven't actually read the book so perhaps it's a timeless classic that I've judged harshly and unfairly by its description.

Paul


Good work with "Will you blother reading a bloring blook?"! Thanks for bringing it to light, twas very funny. It made me wonder why i even bother reading boingboing... they don't even have black helicopters.

Dan Williams


Thanks for the article regarding blooks. I was left rather queasy by the ideas in the article. Not so much the replacement of curling up with a book by sitting in an uncomfortable chair in front of a computer.

It was the thought of these New-Age salesmen fresh from the car-yards trying to sell us a new social technology that no one wants or needs which causes my bile to overflow.

Thankfully due to the Register's incisive cynicism I was able to hold on to my dinner. Thanks chaps.

Andrew Punch


Glad to be of service.

What's behind this latest garbage is the notion of a "collective intelligence", where the "hive mind" of the Interweb will enhance and improve an idea or piece of writing. That depends on who's reading of course - and some writing evidently starts its journey through the hive mind's neurons in such a terrible state that nothing can improve it. Take heed, as the idea underpins a great deal of today's techno utopian rhetoric: but it's really the sound of someone farting in a Californian hot tub. Which to date, has been an endless source of bubbles.

Finally, we draw your attention to research conducted in over thirty countries which looked at "problem-solving deficit disorder". The study of 100,000 children concluded that computer use had a deleterious effect on literacy. But I bet you didn't know how much. I didn't. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
The hidden costs of self-signed SSL certificates
Exploring the true TCO for self-signed SSL certificates, including a side-by-side comparison of a self-signed architecture versus working with a third-party SSL vendor.