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SMS kettle: best invention ever?

Er, probably not

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Do you ever find yourself gasping for a cup of tea, but you just can't summon the strength to switch the kettle on? Does it all seem too much? Is all hope for the afternoon tea break fading away?

Fear not, for PG Tips have invented the SMS kettle. You can now put the water on to boil at the flick of a switch.,..oh, sorry, touch of a button. Just text "switch on" to your kettle's phone number (there are so many things wrong with this...do you want your kettle to have a phone number?) and it will oblige.

A spokeswoman for PG told Ananova: "It could revolutionise tea-time. Now there is no excuse for not putting the kettle on."

But why exactly you would want this function is something of a mystery to us. After all, it isn't going to fetch your favourite mug from the cupboard, rummage around for the last teabag and combine all the relevant ingredients once the water is boiled, is it?

It won't text you when its boiled, either. Nor, according to reports, does it have a whistle.

If this is the best attack on the British Way of LifeTM the Lizard Army can muster, we can probably sleep easy for a little longer.

The kettle, dubbed ReadyWhenUR, goes on sale next year. ®

Bootnote

From John Leyden, our Hot Beverage correspondant:

"In the unlikely event England reach the World Cup semi-final next year, an SMS kettle may allow footy fans to turn on their kettle's slightly earlier than everyone else, thus marginally reducing a power surge that might otherwise strain the national grid.

"That's if the SMS gets through faster than it takes to walk to the kitchen, of course. Other than this I can think of no useful application of the technology."

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