Here's the perfect gift for the man who has everything, except Google: the GOO61E licence plate currently up for grabs on eBay for a cool £20,000.

Described as the "only 'GOOGLE' Plate possible", it's being punted as "ideal for anyone associated with 'Google' or the computing industry".

That'd be Steve "Ballistic" Ballmer we reckon. Anyone interested in chipping in for the whip-round we're having to buy GOO61E as a birthday present for Steve should send their contributions to the usual address.

The current total stands at £5.71 - that being the entire contents of today's Vulture Central swear jar (mostly Lucy Sherriff: "Hey, my organic tofu and sea urchin salad hasn't got any f**king virgin-thigh-rubbed wheat grass extract in it, for f**k's sake...") - but we calculate that if Ballmer emptied the contents of his office swear jar, he could snap up the plate instantly and still have plenty left over to by some new office furniture. ®

Bootnote

Ok, that's enough. We promise no more references to Steve Ballmer's swearing and chair-chucking escapades. Except this one, and the three links below...