Website seeks sex toy testers

First it was flogging the backless thong, then a search for seasoned w*nkers, now online sex toy outfit LoveHoney has successfully found its way onto El Reg for the third time with its new initiative - the Orgasm Army.

Yes, we know we shouldn't be giving LoveHoney any more exposure, but its PR stunts have a kind of irresistible silliness about them which makes a pleasant change from blade servers, 24 meg broadband and VoIP.

The latest piece of tomfoolery involves recruiting the aforementioned Orgasm Army - an initiative looking to "build the UK's biggest library of sex toy reviews so girls and guys can find out which vibrators, condoms and lubes are the best a man and woman can get".

As the blurb puts it:

Will you put your orgasms on the line for Queen and country? Then the LoveHoney Orgasm Army wants you! Enlist today and you could get free sex toys in return for sharing your sex toy experiences on the Orgasm Army Web site.

There are, mercifully, a few conditions. You have to be over 18, of sound mind and body and agree to the Orgasm Army terms and conditions. Be warned that you may not submit content which:

• may adversely affect the functionality of any computer software and/or hardware
• is untrue, inaccurate, misleading, defamatory, offensive or malicious
• is in breach of any intellectual property rights of any third party
• if published by LoveHoney Limited would be illegal, unlawful, contrary to public opinion or would be reasonably likely to cause loss or damage to LoveHoney Limited.

Crikey. So, if your explosive climaxes have in the past crashed web browsers, or caused motherboards to melt down, keep 'em to yourself. Likewise, if your orgasmic excesses are contrary to public opinion - and by this we assume they mean a blow-by-blow account of torrid rumpy-pumpy with Tory temptress Anne Widdicombe, for example - then save it for the tabloids.

Otherwise, carry on. ®