Martian snowboarders download imaginary nipples
Pearls of wisdom from our beloved readers
No2ID protestors managed to get themselves kicked out of a shopping centre this week, for leafleting with intent to inform:
Having had a long interest in Britain's cold war history, this incident seems incredibly similar to the protests for and against cruise missiles 25 years ago.
In an article in the New Statesman, EP Thompson reckoned there were really only two kinds of information around: if something was to *inform the public* then various establishment organs acted as vectors for official pap.
The second kind was information to *educate the public* - this he defined as material that was often an awesome secret, backed by state sanctions and threats of up to 14 years in jail. At the MetroCentre (about 3 miles from my house) that distinction from 25 years ago is back again.
Government leafleting and propaganda by establishment persons in an establishment venue is okay; its legitimate for a government mandarin to engage in indoctrination of an idea just as insane as cruise missiles from 1979.
Those on the other side of the fence, be they CND then, or No2ID now, find themselves hamstrung by illegitimate, wicked authority that has the power to silence any opponent.
In that issue of New Statesman from Dec, 1979, Thompson closed his article by saying "look where you will, there is no end to the insanity of the whole operation". I find it bitterly cruel that after a quarter century our lamentable democracy has advanced no further.
And so to the important question of hallucinated nipples. This one worried us in many ways:
And you should be ashamed. I spent some of my Extremely Valuable Time reading that article, and there are no nipples at all! Surely, somewhere on the Internet, you could find a picture including a nipple to put in that article. Probably you could even find it on your hard drive, sheesh.
And I'll let you know, too, the only reason I'm even spending any of my Extremely Valuable Time to give you this feedback is that you have the word "bonk" on your feedback page.
And this is the last paragraph I'll start with "And."
We'd apologise, but we'd be lying.
Lastly, a much more interesting explanation has been put forward for some of the changes to the Martian sand dunes:
Boulders rolling down a hill my arse!
Anybody who watches extreme sports on Sky will recognise the tell-tale path carved by radical eXXXtreme (to the max) snowboarders. I blame my brother - he hasn't been answering his texts for a while; I bet the bugger's been on Mars. Typical...
And with that, we're off to parachute onto a spikey mountain somewhere equipped with nothing but skis, a woolly hat and an iPod Nano. Enjoy the weekend. ®
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