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Superman has small todger: official

No super powers in the trouser department

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It's official: Superman may be able to leap a tall building with a single bound but he's completely lacking super powers in the trouser department.

That, at least, is according to those charged with costuming Brandon Routh who will play the Man of Steel in next year's Superman Returns. According to MSNBC, costume designer Louise Mingenbach says that of all the internet speculation surrounding Superman's costume, the vast majority focused on his trunks.

Explained the deliciously-surnamed Mingenbach: "There was more discussion about Superman's 'package' than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round? It was somebody's job for about a month just working on codpiece shapes. It was crazy."

The mind boggles. Just how pointy does Superman's schlong have to be before Middle America reaches for its Bible and its assault rifle?

Sadly, we may never know, because Mingenbach's final verdict on our hero's wedding tackle is: "Not big. Ten-year-olds will be seeing this movie."

Readers will be able to judge for themselves just how deprived Lois Lane is when Superman Returns opens in June next year. ®

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