Feeds

Zotob worm perps: hanging's too good for 'em

Straight talk on violence, surveys and 'mobes'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

Letters From time to time, we at Vulture Central get emails berating us for printing what readers say are straight plugs for companies disguised as fascinating and informative surveys or analysis pieces. This one is typical:

Shame on you for publishing such a shameless ad posing as a news item:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/08/30/it_contractors_neglect_insurance/

I'm a contractor and I think I speak for all of us when I say we're painfully aware of the problems we face, in particular when it comes to IR35 and the revenue. Having someone who is peddling the solution-for-all-our-needs state the bleedin' obvious isn't really a great help.

I look forward to your next piece entitled \"Shock Research Proves Computers Use Electricity\". Perhaps this piece will be sponsored by a mobo manufacturer or a PSU vendor?

Maybe you're just easing yourself into a slow news day after a good long weekend?

Cheers

Mike

In fact, our forthcoming shock expose on the link between alternating current, plug sockets and electrical equipment will be sponsored by a company called Powergen. Apparently they have an interest of some sort in electricity and their selfless contribution to the piece - in terms of amazing stats and factoids and quotes from the CEO warning of the dangers of not buying Powergen's 'leccy - allows us to ease ourselves effortlessly into a stagnant news day after a particularly robust weekend.

Your point about the bleedin' obvious has been duly noted, however.

Now, the UK's government is to clamp down on violent porn. A good show, we reckon, but what about other violent stuff, cries Chris Bradshaw?:

Why not also ban distribution and possession of non-pornographic violent material while they are at it? Videos of terrorists beheading unwilling civilians should be just as abhorrent to society (well, decent society anyway), and can cause the same effect (beheadings or similar terrorist activity).

The law could also be used as a proveable and punishable offence against those who have allegedly planned a terrorist act but against whom there is little or no hard evidence, similar to the way that the Mafia capos in the US were prosecuted for tax evasion when no-one would testify against them.

We think it's fair to say that if we in the civilised world ever get our hands on Abu Mohammed al-Zarqawi (the alleged murderer of Ken Bigley), then the footage of his outrages would certainly feature heavily in the case for the prosecution. God alone knows, though, how anyone can stop this kind of stuff, with a porn content or otherwise, from circulating - especially via the web.

We're reminded of the UK's "video nasties" bruhaha years back when an enraged Thatcher government banned a veritable bloodbath of highly unpleasant flicks including I Spit on your Grave, Snuff, and the quite remarkable SS Experiment Camp. Naturally, and despite the threat of heavy penalties for even looking at a copy of any of the aforementioned from a distance of three miles, all were readily available if you knew the right North London video rental shop.

And the reason we call SS Experiment Camp remarkable? Because it contained the immortal line: "You bastard - you stole my balls!" They certainly don't make 'em like that any more.

So, we've caged Abu Mohammed al-Zarqawi. What do we do with the bugger? Try this, from Randy:

These SCUMBAGS should be castrated with a branding iron, then hung by their thumbs for a month, then stoned in a public forum.

Actually, Randy is suggesting a suitable punishment for the two men recently cuffed in connection with the Zotob worm outbreak, but we like the cut of his jib.

More ne'er-do-wellishness now, with Mark Hackett commenting on the case of the stolen Windows source code fence, William P. Genovese:

How can a trade secret be copyrighted? You must publish a work to get it copyrighted. That means it isn't a trade secret.

Greedy buggers want to have their cake and eat it too (and take anyone else's if there's the opportunity).

Sigh

A fair point. Concluding this "Crime and Punishment" round-up, is Andy Bright on online gaming misdemeanours, the most recent of which was the password-snaffling worm menace:

It's like the guy who was arrested recently for mugging online characters, stealing their imaginary stuff and selling it online.

What's more sad - that people actually pay to cheat at computer games, or that other people start crying if they lose all the stuff they wasted six years of their lives collecting in a pretend universe?

Spare me from cry baby online gamers...

We'll make no comment as to how lachrimose online gamers may be, and wrap up today's missives with the news that we have once again been taken to task for our shocking abuse of the elegant lingo that is yer Maj Liz Two's Queen's English:

Please stop the staff from using the term "mobe" :(

No chance, not at least until the above correspondent stops calling himself "Bob". Enough said and a jolly weekend to you all. ®

Lucy Sherriff is on light shopping leave.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.