An enterprising Welsh businessman will tomorrow launch an invaluable service for expats yearning for a bit of their fragrant motherland - bottled Welsh air at 24 quid a pop.

John Gronow's walesinabottle.com guarantees the absolute purity and authenticity of the air by way of a certificate nicely couched in a special, velveteen heritage presentation box along with the bottled gas.

Yup, we can just imagine Dai down there in Patagonia going all teary-eyed as he gently caresses his container of Snowdonia and Brecon Beacons atmosphere. Or, should our distant Son of the Valleys require a more substantial reminder, Gronow can offer "Slate, Stone, Sand or Water" ("just a few ideas which will remind you of your birthplace, school, farm or the place you were brought up"), or near enough anything, "if it fits in a bottle".

Good show. How much then to compress Catherine Zeta Jones-Douglas into a bottle and have her couriered over to Vulture Central? Email us a quote and we'll have a whip-round. ®

Bootnote

In the interests of some semblance of lip service to something approaching proper journalism, we should note that walesinabottle.com was set up with the backing of Prime Cymru, a business agency for the over-50s backed by the Prince of Wales who reckoned entrepreneurs over 50 needed a support organisation. Good show.

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