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Dutch TV hits sperm-spattered low

Donor sought for live insemination

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Dutch TV has hit a new low as viewers prepare to vote on which of five innovative pilots they would like to see developed into a full-blown series.

Among the front-runners in cable channel Talpa TV's tapestry of televisual trash is I Want Your Child And Nothing Else which features a woman looking for a sperm donor. Potential seed providers are invited to provide their credentials via email, and the climactic conclusion of the full-fat spectacle would be the insemination of the mum-to-be.

It's not all cut-and-dried, though. I Want Your Child... faces strong competition from four other delights, including the trials and tribulations of five prostitutes trying to go into "business", and the engagement of two people who have never met.

Suffice it to say, Talpa TV is run by John de Mol, former Endemol suit and the man responsible for the Big Brother format. Talpa will broadcast the latest Dutch run of BB, which is rumoured to have secured the services of someone willing to give birth on live TV. Whether or not she has to be impregnated live on the show by someone she has never met while cheered on by five prostitutes is not noted.

Naturally, questions have been asked in the Dutch parliament about all of this garbage, but we very much doubt if any government in the world - bar that of China which would doubtless send de Mol for "re-education" in a salt mine somewhere - is in any position to stem the tide of low-rent reality TV. We weep for humanity. ®

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