Councils to publish phone mast emission data

Beams are going to find me

Vodafone has sought to quash UK luddites' fears that mobile phone masts are turning their brains into something resembling a partially set trifle.

The cellco is working with seven local councils to install monitors which will keep track of the emissions from Vodafone base stations. The data will be published to publicly accessible websites provided by the councils.

Vodafone reckons the scheme will show that its base stations are well within international guidelines, “and local residents will be reassured that their health is not at risk.”

Despite being solar powered, the monitors’ll be scanning the airwaves 24 hours a day.

The units will also measure electromagnetic fields from other sources, such as radio and TV. If nothing else, citizens can be reassured that mobile data is just one of a number of beams that have turned modern Britain into one gigantic microwave oven.

The seven councils are: City and County of Swansea; Oxford; Cambridge; Portsmouth; Stroud; Hinkley and Bosworth; and Wycombe.

As for the rest of you, we recommend wrapping your head in foil and basting yourself every 20 minutes.®

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