Feeds

Face of Jesus appears in Sussex hawthorn

GoldenPalace.com preps epiphany chainsaw black op

Security for virtualized datacentres

That Jesus-in-a-hawthorn-tree in full. Pic by BBCA simulacrum of Jesus's face discovered by a non-practicing Hindu in a Burgess Hill hawthorn tree looks set to become a focus of pilgrimage after a local pastor declared it "a revelation from God".

Sewdutt Maunick told the BBC how he was inexorably drawn to the divine shrub, explaining: "Something was actually urging me to come to this end of the garden because we never actually sit here. Suddenly I rushed to call my wife, Vijayantimala, and said 'look, I have seen this figure of a man, come and look'."

The suitably epiphanised couple called in pastor Elaine Thomas who confirmed the revelation, saying: "I think that often we are in the right place at the right time. It's touched my heart and it's done something for me."

Mr and Mrs Maunick now plan to talk about their close encounter with the divine to the pastor's flock. We have no doubt that when they get back from the church, GoldenPalace.com will have removed the hawthorn with a chainsaw and arranged for a hard-up US woman to have a representation of the Jesus image tattooed on her arse in return for ten bucks' worth of e-chips. ®

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.