Feeds

Face of Jesus appears in Sussex hawthorn

GoldenPalace.com preps epiphany chainsaw black op

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

That Jesus-in-a-hawthorn-tree in full. Pic by BBCA simulacrum of Jesus's face discovered by a non-practicing Hindu in a Burgess Hill hawthorn tree looks set to become a focus of pilgrimage after a local pastor declared it "a revelation from God".

Sewdutt Maunick told the BBC how he was inexorably drawn to the divine shrub, explaining: "Something was actually urging me to come to this end of the garden because we never actually sit here. Suddenly I rushed to call my wife, Vijayantimala, and said 'look, I have seen this figure of a man, come and look'."

The suitably epiphanised couple called in pastor Elaine Thomas who confirmed the revelation, saying: "I think that often we are in the right place at the right time. It's touched my heart and it's done something for me."

Mr and Mrs Maunick now plan to talk about their close encounter with the divine to the pastor's flock. We have no doubt that when they get back from the church, GoldenPalace.com will have removed the hawthorn with a chainsaw and arranged for a hard-up US woman to have a representation of the Jesus image tattooed on her arse in return for ten bucks' worth of e-chips. ®

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1
Beijing fears it could beam secrets back to America
Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!
How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
prev story

Whitepapers

Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.