Feeds

Crimebusting cheerleaders bust hit-and-run perp

American justice - the musical

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

We Reg hacks from this side of the Pond have often wondered what earthly purpose cheerleaders serve, except when they appear in Playboy specials without so much as a conveniently-placed pom-pom to cover their modesty.

This, it is now clear, is a gross injustice to the cheerleading community who are in the very front line of the US war against serious, although not necessarily organised, crime.

No, we're not talking blondes in ra-ra skirts dispensing summary justice via the barrel of a gun, but rather blondes in ra-ra skirts singing the licence plate of a hit-and-run driver thereby allowing law enforcement officials to track, subdue and cage* the perpetrator of a Michigan traffic outrage.

The facts are, according to CNN, as follows: members of the Lincoln High School varsity cheerleading squad in Ypsilanti were on a jolly to a Universal Cheerleaders Association's camp in neighbouring Ann Arbor when one of their number witnessed a nasty four-car incident at a red traffic light.

A truck reportedly rammed into the back of a stationary car, which was pushed into another car which was itself rammed into yet another vehicle. The truck driver made good his escape, but not before cheerleaders' coach Patricia Clark had clocked his licence plate.

Clark explained: "I knew I was going to not remember it because there was too much going on. So, when I ran down the street and got the plate number, I yelled to the girls: 'Remember this!"'

Quick as a flash, the musical vigilante squad turned its considerable skills to the matter, as senior captain Kimmie Ostrowski recounted: "The coach just said it and we were saying it over and over, and then it just turned into a big chant since we kept repeating it."

This vital piece of melodic evidence led cops quickly to the unnamed truck driver's home, where he told officers he hadn't stopped because "he didn't think the damage was severe enough", as Lt. Mike Logghe later told the Ann Arbor News.

Mercifully, SWAT teams bearing tasers, dogs and nets were not required on this occasion - the man was not arrested but may face a "misdemeanor charge of leaving the scene of an accident".

And there you have it - were it not for roaming bands of crimebusting cheerleaders, the streets of Middle America would be mean indeed. ®

Bootnote

*Yes, yes - we made that bit up. It's a result of watching too much The world's wildest 911 emergency police chase videos - ever, or whatever it's called.

Related stories

Cop 'downloaded nude snaps' from suspect's mobile phone
Police keelhaul world's thickest DVD pirate
Baby alarm snares bungling burglar

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
The Heartbleed Bug: how to protect your business with Symantec
What happens when the next Heartbleed (or worse) comes along, and what can you do to weather another chapter in an all-too-familiar string of debilitating attacks?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.