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A new survey by RPCushing Recruitment has confirmed what we at Vulture Central have known for years: the UK's desk-bound workers dislike office customs, office outings and more-or-less don't much like the people they work with.

We can all sympathise with the half of workers who resent having to fork out for gifts when someone (selfishly) decides to leave the company. Unsurprisingly, 40 per cent of suits and suitesses "begrudge the culture of the leaver being expected to buy drinks for colleagues", although this is not as sociologically significant as the survey's other findings since it is generally classified as the widespread "tight-arse" syndrome which afflicts many co-workers, normally when in close proximity to the bar.

Far more interesting, and speaking of suits and suitesses, is that one in six snappily-dressed execs don't like "dress-down" days, although we're certain there is not one sysadmin among this number. Despite this, a third of those polled whined that they are under pressure to look their best.

Office outings, too, piss off one third of workers - a fact confirmed by a quick straw poll of Reg hacks who are still complaining about last year's firm jolly to Chernobyl via a Wi-Fi standards conference in Monrovia.

And since RPCushing Recruitment has obviously gone to great lengths to compile this fascinating insight into the psyche of the modern UK employee, we'll allow RPCushing supremo, Paul Cushing, his two bits' worth, in keeping with the local custom: "Many informal interpersonal interactions, workplace incentives and team bonding exercises are resented by office workers. There are definite benefits to employers encouraging the development of a participative culture based on teamwork. However, there should be broad consensus amongst the employees about what form these activities should take."

Agreed. Immediate office outing to pub followed by enormous curry at expense of Reg Strategy Boutique? All those in favour? Carried. ®

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