Feeds

Horny Brits plug into internet vibrator

Net-controlled remote rumpy-pumpy

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Right, let's get down to business - you've warmed yourself up with the vibrating knickers, plugged the iPod into the Muff Dock and slipped into the backless thong, but there's still something standing between you and an earth-shattering climax...

Ah yes, your boyfriend is at a data networking conference in Birmingham. But while this would previously have been an insurmountable barrier to sexual intimacy, distance can no longer keep the tech-savvy rumpy-pumpyists from enjoying a private moment together.

The Internet Enabled RabbitIndeed, while less connected couples would have to make do with a bit of solo flying, those with a broadband connection and £79.95 to spare can now avail themselves of the Highjoy Internet Enabled Rabbit, 10.5 inches of non-toxic vinyl rubber net joy which "invites couples to join the online sexual revolution".

Yup, praise be once again to the internet. Here are some of the bangs you get for your bucks:

With your purchase you receive a free membership to HighJoy, the website that enables you to watch and control a partners sex toys from any PC, anywhere in the world!

Whether you spend time away from each other for work, or you just want to meet other like-minded people for true cybersex then this great new innovation is for you.

Naturally, there has to be an IT angle to all this, so here are the system requirements: "Windows 98 or later, serial or USB port, healthy sexual appetite!" Furthermore, those with a purely technical interest in how the Internet Enabled Rabbit actually works are invited to peruse HighJoy's comprehensive user interface tutorial (PDF).

The revolutionary and vibratory Rabbit is available from sextoys.co.uk (motto: "One site fits all"). As the firm's Monique Carty told UK tabloid the Sun: "It brings the most-acclaimed vibrator, the rabbit into the 21st century with a bang." Phwooooar! ®

Related stories

eShoppers get the hots for backless thong
iPod users deprived of muff
Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.