We're going to get straight down to business with this one - it's a quiet news day and the following contains no IT angle whatsoever except one terrible acronym-driven pun the perpetrator of which has been put on UK IT reseller financial results duty for a week.

IT angle or not, we feel obliged to salute Barney, the "VoIP" macaw ("vocally obnoxious indignant parrot"), who has brought shame and disgrace on Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in Nuneaton by hurling vile abuse at visiting VIPs.

First up, the five-year-old feathered fiend called a vicar a "wanker", a judgement also passed on local police officers. Warming to the task, Barney then told the mayoress to "fuck off", something which is considered rather bad form in Nuneaton.

Delightfully, centre manager Geoff Grewcock confirmed to UK tabloid the Sun that Barney's favourite expletive is "bollocks", one of a number of top-notch terms he learned from his former owner - a trucker.

The problem is, the sanctuary is often frequented by impressionable kiddies, so Barney has been quarantined until he cleans up his act. Grewcock said he was now on a crash-diet of documentaries and TV news, so presumably he will soon be entertaining the crowds with outbursts of "shoot to kill!" and other topical phrases. ®

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