Feeds

eShoppers get the hots for backless thong

VPL and VTL eliminated. Praise be to the net

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

NSFW In what must be the only story ever to appear on El Reg which can challenge IT-driven material for the sheer weight of TLAs (three-letter acronyms) available to the abbreviation-hungry hack (AHH), UK online lingerie and sex accessory outfit Lovehoney (adult products, natch) has at a stroke eliminated the nightmare of VPL and indeed VTL.

VPL and VTL trauma? SortedOlder readers will remember how women's underwear manufacturers (WUM) battled for years against the scourge of visible panty line - guaranteed to result in ridicule and social exclusion (RSE). Later came the thong, with its own associated visible thong line trauma (TLT)...

The solution? Simple: remove the back of the thong altogether and voila! - backless lingerie for trauma-free partygoing (TFP).

And here's why:

Unprecedented comfort - unlike thongs, Backless Lingerie doesn't ride, wedge or shift. Their soft straps sit snugly below your buttocks, enabling complete freedom. Show your best side at its best - in total comfort.

Yup, the "Backless Lingerie Invisible Thong" (BLIT) is going down a storm with female eShoppers, so much so that it has sold out completely at Lovehoney.

Do not depair, though, we at Vulture Central have the perfect interim solution (PIS): just send us the £9.99 you would have spent on a BLIT and we'll send you absolutely nothing, which will eliminate all trace of VPL and VTL no matter what you wear - guaranteed. ®

Related stories

iPod users deprived of muff
Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers
Victoria's Secret to pay up for poor panty privacy

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.