Feeds

Google spots Jesus in Peruvian sand dune

Or is it Charles Manson?

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Black helicopter alert There's some very good news today for those readers who do not have the good fortune to live in either the UK or the US of A - you now officially exist according to Google UK.

Yup, maps.google.co.uk has now restored those bits of the the globe previously not thought worthy of inclusion in the big map - which was everywhere except Blighty and the States, Canada, Central America, some Caribbean islands and the Irish Republic. There's more on the terrifying conspiracy theory behind this mass erasure in our previous report into the matter.

But before the black helicopters can return to base, we must ask this simple question: Why has Google Maps chosen to remain silent on the small matter of having located Jesus Christ in a Peruvian sand dune?

Jesus or Charles Manson?

We find it impossible to believe that Google didn't spot this ghostly Turin shroudesque image of Our Lord in the South American sands. What are they not telling us?

A quick phone call to Erich von Däniken confirmed our initial suspicions that the image was hewn from the sand by an ancient civilisation using hot air balloons and alien laser technology borrowed from the scientists of Atlantis. Either that or someone is projecting a picture of Charles Manson onto the desert from a low Earth orbit, Erich told El Reg before popping out to discover a representation of an extraterrestrial wearing an Apple iPod carved into a stone by Mayan artisans in 500BC.

Whatever the truth, the implications of this discovery are chilling indeed. Sinister things are afoot at Google, make no mistake. ®

Bootnote

Muchas gracias to reader Lee Staniforth for his satellite spotting skills.

Related stories

Google redraws world according to George Bush
Need a brothel? Ask Google
Google conquers planet Earth

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.