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Does your urine smell of maple syrup?

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Do you get seborrhoeic dermatitis around your nose and an acne like rash? Do you produce excess ear wax? Do you have a swollen tongue with lateral teeth indentations? Do you ever wonder why you feel absolutely bloody awful? Fear not, help may at hand in the form of Body Language - a new "online diagnostic tool" designed to get you back on track.

Body Language is the brainchild of biochemist Graham Cope and forensic scientist Jim Campbell. According to the blurb:

This website introduces you to the idea that there are many hundreds of 'Body Language' signals telling you about the state of your health, and what you need to look after your body. This isn't more healthy eating advice. It's about your body’s signs and symptoms to help you to lead a healthier, enrich your life, and live longer.

Example: if you've got Brisk Knee Reflexes, you may be deficient in magnesium. Alternatively, shaking hands are a sign of, well, any Reg hack can tell you what causes that...

For a more eye-opening revelation, try "Does your baby's urine smell of maple syrup?" Yes? Here's why:

Maple Syrup Urine Disease (MSUD) is an extremely rare inherited metabolic disorder characterized by a distinctive sweet odor of the urine and sweat. It is a serious disorder that, unless treated promptly and correctly, can be life threatening. Therapy must be started at the earliest possible age to achieve the best results. MSUD is manageable, just as diabetes is manageable, but care and attention must be given to diet and to the treatment of even minor illnesses.

Good Lord. Of course, the website's authors make no claim to be a professional online resource, and note: "These Body Language signs are valuable as 'early warning signs' but are no substitute for professional health advice and should not be used exclusively for self-diagnosis or for self treatment of serious complaints or diseases."

Indeed. Which is why there is nothing on Body Language asking: "Are you suffering from fever, headache, joint and muscle aches, sore throat, weakness, diarrhea, vomiting, stomach pain, a rash, red eyes, hiccups and internal and external bleeding?" ®

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