Feeds

Does your urine smell of maple syrup?

Click here for an online diagnosis

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Do you get seborrhoeic dermatitis around your nose and an acne like rash? Do you produce excess ear wax? Do you have a swollen tongue with lateral teeth indentations? Do you ever wonder why you feel absolutely bloody awful? Fear not, help may at hand in the form of Body Language - a new "online diagnostic tool" designed to get you back on track.

Body Language is the brainchild of biochemist Graham Cope and forensic scientist Jim Campbell. According to the blurb:

This website introduces you to the idea that there are many hundreds of 'Body Language' signals telling you about the state of your health, and what you need to look after your body. This isn't more healthy eating advice. It's about your body’s signs and symptoms to help you to lead a healthier, enrich your life, and live longer.

Example: if you've got Brisk Knee Reflexes, you may be deficient in magnesium. Alternatively, shaking hands are a sign of, well, any Reg hack can tell you what causes that...

For a more eye-opening revelation, try "Does your baby's urine smell of maple syrup?" Yes? Here's why:

Maple Syrup Urine Disease (MSUD) is an extremely rare inherited metabolic disorder characterized by a distinctive sweet odor of the urine and sweat. It is a serious disorder that, unless treated promptly and correctly, can be life threatening. Therapy must be started at the earliest possible age to achieve the best results. MSUD is manageable, just as diabetes is manageable, but care and attention must be given to diet and to the treatment of even minor illnesses.

Good Lord. Of course, the website's authors make no claim to be a professional online resource, and note: "These Body Language signs are valuable as 'early warning signs' but are no substitute for professional health advice and should not be used exclusively for self-diagnosis or for self treatment of serious complaints or diseases."

Indeed. Which is why there is nothing on Body Language asking: "Are you suffering from fever, headache, joint and muscle aches, sore throat, weakness, diarrhea, vomiting, stomach pain, a rash, red eyes, hiccups and internal and external bleeding?" ®

Related stories

Bird flu: we're all going to die
Space launches make kids sick
Laptops cause infertility: official

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.