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US family defiant in tinfoil house

Fighting radiation attack, Sacramento style

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

This one is causing some merriment on Slashdot at the moment: a Sacramento family has been ordered to remove aluminium cladding from their house which, they claim, is protecting them from radio wave attack by neighbours.

According to local news outfit KCRA, the D'Souzas say the assaults began on the first anniversary of 11 September, and have subsequently caused "health problems ranging from headaches to lupus". Accordingly, they clad the exterior of the house with sheet aluminium which, as Sarah D'Souza expained, is "a shield to protect against radiation, because microwave radiation is reflected off of aluminium, so it's a protective measure."

The neighbours and the authorities are less than impressed. The D'Souzas have been ordered to remove the cladding or face the consequences. Sacramento Code Enforcement spokesman, Josh Pino, admitted: "Eleven years in Sacramento and few other years in Southern California and this is the first time I've ever seen [anything like this]. The inside of the house is also covered with foil and the beds are covered with a foil-like material as well."

The D'Souzas have said they will provide evidence of "what they believe is a problem with radiation". Quite right too. We here at Vulture Central - wary of possible attack by war-driving hackers, bluejackers and Lizard Army mind-control rays - sit inside an enormous Faraday cage which blocks 100 per cent of electromagnetic radiation. Furthermore, our security correspondent John Leyden is, as we speak, wrapped in an enormous hi-tech tinfoil quilt after complaining of the initial symptoms of lupus. Crikey. ®

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