Feeds

Tories board hi-tech battle bus

'Roaming tactical unit' hits the road

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

If you've ever wondered just how it is that Michael Howard and Oliver Letwin formulate on-the-fly policies regarding Council Tax while tirelessly gladhanding in different parts of country during the the no-holds-barred slanging match which is otherwise known as a "pre-election campaign", then brace yourself for a comms kit overload.

According to a breathless press release just in, it's all down to a mobile "tactical" video conferencing unit aboard the Tory "Battle Bus" via which Howard communicates with his colleagues and advisors. Apparently, "the system gives Howard and his advisors the capability to meet for face-to-face consultation (and share data) even while the leader is on the road. Obviously, this is handy in terms of discussing strategy and tactics as campaign events unfold, and agreeing on decisions in real time."

Blimey. The gear in question is seemingly the same as that used by the military and doctors working in "remote and extreme locations". Should survive a campaign trip to Middlesboro, then. It features a "rugged, watertight carry-on size case" and boasts "15.4-inch WXGA video screen, storage space for a laptop or satellite modem, CD-quality audio and embedded security".

Video conferencing comms are via satellite IP set-up courtesy of TANDBERG (press release CAPS, btw) and Margolis. It's all part of a Conservative information octopus with limbs streching to "Conservative Party HQ boardroom (for the use of the Shadow Cabinet), in Liam Fox's* office, in the party office in Birmingham and in a undisclosed London hotel".

The press release promises some pictures of the "mobile 'tactical' video conferencing unit" in action in the near future, but everyone knows that Nosferatu don't appear in photogr...

No, in the interests of balanced reporting, we're going to nip that one in the bud. And you'll get no quips about boxes filled with Romanian soil aboard the Battle Bus, either.

And just to prove that we are entirely even-handed in the run-up to Election 2005™, here's one example of a hi-tech piece of kit you will never see aboard a Conservative pre-election charabanc: the biometric ID card. Of course, they'll be entirely unnecessary under a Tory regime because all of the illegal immigrants will have been beaten into the English Channel by riot police... [You're fired - Ed] ®

*Samantha Fox's lesser-known brother, according to our political database.

Related stories

Tory group report attacks ID scheme as a con trick
Political cybersquatting rears ugly head
Labour fingered for cyber 'dirty tricks campaign'

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.