Feeds

Tories board hi-tech battle bus

'Roaming tactical unit' hits the road

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

If you've ever wondered just how it is that Michael Howard and Oliver Letwin formulate on-the-fly policies regarding Council Tax while tirelessly gladhanding in different parts of country during the the no-holds-barred slanging match which is otherwise known as a "pre-election campaign", then brace yourself for a comms kit overload.

According to a breathless press release just in, it's all down to a mobile "tactical" video conferencing unit aboard the Tory "Battle Bus" via which Howard communicates with his colleagues and advisors. Apparently, "the system gives Howard and his advisors the capability to meet for face-to-face consultation (and share data) even while the leader is on the road. Obviously, this is handy in terms of discussing strategy and tactics as campaign events unfold, and agreeing on decisions in real time."

Blimey. The gear in question is seemingly the same as that used by the military and doctors working in "remote and extreme locations". Should survive a campaign trip to Middlesboro, then. It features a "rugged, watertight carry-on size case" and boasts "15.4-inch WXGA video screen, storage space for a laptop or satellite modem, CD-quality audio and embedded security".

Video conferencing comms are via satellite IP set-up courtesy of TANDBERG (press release CAPS, btw) and Margolis. It's all part of a Conservative information octopus with limbs streching to "Conservative Party HQ boardroom (for the use of the Shadow Cabinet), in Liam Fox's* office, in the party office in Birmingham and in a undisclosed London hotel".

The press release promises some pictures of the "mobile 'tactical' video conferencing unit" in action in the near future, but everyone knows that Nosferatu don't appear in photogr...

No, in the interests of balanced reporting, we're going to nip that one in the bud. And you'll get no quips about boxes filled with Romanian soil aboard the Battle Bus, either.

And just to prove that we are entirely even-handed in the run-up to Election 2005™, here's one example of a hi-tech piece of kit you will never see aboard a Conservative pre-election charabanc: the biometric ID card. Of course, they'll be entirely unnecessary under a Tory regime because all of the illegal immigrants will have been beaten into the English Channel by riot police... [You're fired - Ed] ®

*Samantha Fox's lesser-known brother, according to our political database.

Related stories

Tory group report attacks ID scheme as a con trick
Political cybersquatting rears ugly head
Labour fingered for cyber 'dirty tricks campaign'

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.