We've just spotted a rather strange snippet from AP which says that noted thespo Denzel Washington has devised a cunning plan to deal with mobile phones ringing during performances of the Broadway revival of Julius Caesar. Washington plays Brutus, and told CBS's 60 Minutes: "One of these days I'm going to respond in iambic pentameter: 'Answereth that, my lord. My lord, it is for you'."

Good Lord, Denzel doesn't muck about, does he? That should nip any outbreak of theatrical ringtone in the bud, and no messing.

Readers are invited to speculate as to how Sly Stallone as Brutus would deal with such an outrage. We suspect his response would be rather more Rambic than iambic, and capped with a quick: "Liberty! Freedom! Tyranny is dead! Run hence, proclaim, cry it about the streets." It's a lovely thought. ®

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