Feeds

UK gov seeks rocket-launching cigarette expert

Now pay attention, 007

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top three mobile application threats

If you've got a penchant for gyrocopters, rocket-launching cigarettes and exploding boli - and further don't mind working in Milton Keynes - then the UK government has just the job for you.

Her Majesty's Secret Service is looking to replace its current Q, Dr John Widdowson, and has taken the unusual step of advertising for the post. Exact requirements for the mission are secret, says the Guardian, so you'll need to apply to find out exactly what the well-appointed 21st century spook needs to combat the modern Blofeld menace.*

Of course, Bond aficionados will already know that a passing resemblance to either Desmond Llewelyn or John Cleese, coupled to the ability to say "Now pay attention, 007" in a world-weary tone, are likely to be essential prerequisites for the job.

In return for allowing James Bond to invariably trash your lovingly-crafted spy kit, you'll get a salary of between £90-£100k, a budget of £27m and a staff of 425. Which, we reckon, is plenty of cash and manpower to improve on the jetpack, the teargas-dispensing attaché case and the ne'er-do-well-ejecting Aston Martin.

And, should you find yourself craving a little excitement in Milton Keynes of an evening, you can always nip down the local boozer and take the fruit machine for 200 quid using the legendary Electro-Magnetic RPM Controller before ogling the local talent with your x-ray specs. ®

* Possibly a device to warn the apprentice 007 that he has just left his briefcase packed with cheese sandwiches and details of the UK's missile defence system in a Whitehall pub following a particularly robust "debriefing" session?

Related stories

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die
MI5 does not assassinate: official
Leaked James Bond script is kosher

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
Sorry London, Europe's top tech city is Munich
New 'Atlas of ICT Activity' finds innovation isn't happening at Silicon Roundabout
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.