Feeds

Starbucks seeks to patent loyalty card

A patent attorney and his donkey

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

Patent sleuth Theo DP writes, "Looks like Microsoft and Amazon may have some competition in the worst-Seattle-patent-ever contest."

That's a tall latte, because when it comes to fatuous patents, Amazon.com and Microsoft have raised the bar very high.

But he notes that this week two Starbucks patent applications seek to protect the electronic loyalty card. One, application (#20050077350), aims to cover a "dual card", a combined credit card and electronic loyalty card for Starbucks own stores, for example.

A second application (#20050080672) by the same applicants seeks to protect the transactional system that exchanges data between the loyalty card and the credit card. Traditionally, the credit card cartel takes mandatory fees from vendors. With this patent, Starbucks looks to turn the tables on this arrangement.

The second filing is embroidered with some purple prose, and reads like the script to a made-for-schools documentary. Clearly someone at the law office of Christensen, O'Connor, Johnson, Kindness PLLC is working hard to justify their fees. Cue the banjo music -

"Early intrepid hucksters carried their goods on their back or on their donkey, working their way from a harbor town through the backcountry limiting their sales to stock on hand for transactions with would-be consumers. Persuasive sales skill was less important in those days of hungry demand, and orders were readily forthcoming."

As opposed to today's intrepid hucksters, who rush down to the US Patent Office before they've even sold anything.

With the modern USPTO, who needs a donkey?®

Related stories

Patent injunction knocks Longhorn
RIM settles NTP lawsuit for $450m
MS calls for US patent reform
EC OKs software patents

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Sorry London, Europe's top tech city is Munich
New 'Atlas of ICT Activity' finds innovation isn't happening at Silicon Roundabout
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
HP ArcSight ESM solution helps Finansbank
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.