Feeds

Give me $50k or the rabbit dies

Chilling net extortion demand

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Application security programs and practises

Toby: sentence of deathThere are times when we at Vulture Central try our best to avoid reporting on the more distasteful aspects of the internet, but when reader pressure eventually demands satisfaction. This is one of those ocassions, and it with barely disguised horror that we announce the intention of a US man to kill and eat an innocent and highly photogenic rabbit unless netizens cough up $50k by 30 June.

Yes indeed, welcome to Savetoby.com:

Toby is the cutest little bunny on the planet. Unfortunately, he will DIE on June 30th, 2005 if you don.t help. I rescued him several months ago. I found him under my porch, soaking wet, injured from what appeared to be an attack from an alley cat. I took him in, thinking he had no chance to live from his injuries, but miraculously, he recovered. I have since spent several months nursing him to health. Toby is a fighter, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, on June 30th, 2005, Toby will die. I am going to eat him. I am going to take Toby to a butcher to have him slaughter this cute bunny. I will then prepare Toby for a midsummer feast. I have several recipes under consideration, which can be seen, with some pretty graphic images, under the recipe section.

Chillingly, the monster behind this outrage then does indeed indulge in a veritable orgy of rabbit recipes, including Hassenpfeffer, Lapin Braisé and Moroccan Hare Tagine.

To further press home the point, we are then subjected to the gallery. Those readers whose grannies favour calandars featuring cheeky kittens peeping out of wicker baskets will get the idea.

Which is, of course, not new; simply a cybertake on the old "buy this record or the puppy gets it" gag, traditionally accompanied by a snap of a whimpering dogette with a gun to its head. The difference in this case is that Toby's would-be executioner has to date raised an amazing $24,515. Smart stuff, because if animal lovers don't get their skates on, this maniacal Tobycidist will get to pocket the cash and enjoy Rabbit Coq Au Vin. Hmmm... tasty. ®

Important announcement

Yes, yes - we know it's a hoax, we know it's been around for months, blah, blah, blah.

Those enraged rabbit lovers who have written to express disgust at our apparently straight coverage are directed here.

And if that doesn't work, try this:

There's a joke coming you idiot!

Thankyou.

Related stories

Indian teen kidnaps self to buy Nokia mobe
US woman in 419 kidnap terror ordeal
Peruvians develop super-tasty guinea pig

The Power of One eBook: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
Auntie tight-lipped as major outage rolls on
There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES
Even France's mega subsidies don't stop US content onslaught
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
Airbus promises Wi-Fi – yay – and 3D movies (meh) in new A330
If the person in front reclines their seat, this could get interesting
UK Parliament rubber-stamps EMERGENCY data grab 'n' keep bill
Just 49 MPs oppose Drip's rushed timetable
Samsung threatens to cut ties with supplier over child labour allegations
Vows to uphold 'zero tolerance' policy on underage workers
Dude, you're getting a Dell – with BITCOIN: IT giant slurps cryptocash
1. Buy PC with Bitcoin. 2. Mine more coins. 3. Goto step 1
ITC: Seagate and LSI can infringe Realtek patents because Realtek isn't in the US
Land of the (get off scot) free, when it's a foreign owner
prev story

Whitepapers

Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.