Feeds

Do you like sex and rock music?

eBayer makes Glastonbury offer you can refuse

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

If you're female, a bit of a looker, around five feet tall and don't mind selling yourself into sexual slavery in return for a Glastonbury Festival ticket, then one eBayer is offering a lucky girl the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get down and dirty at the world's premier rockfest.

There's a catch, though. Glastonbury tickets have the bearer's name printed on them. No matter. Read on:

Ok...here’s the deal!

I’m going the festival and I’ve got a spare ticket, the only thing is it’s not in your name!

So...all you need to do change your name by deed poll and then you can come with me!

Easy instructions for loosing that name you so cherish can be found here ChangeByDeedPoll.co.uk

This auction will be strictly limited to only attractive women (no men or minging women!), prior to bidding please send an appropriate photo for pre-approval!

As so many people will be after this ticket I think I can be quiet specific on who I want, so... must be around 5' - 5'5", petite, high sexual appetite, good conversationalist, have attractive mother (its a great window into how well you will age!), enjoy drinking and partying!

Please note cooking and general slave services are part of this auction - that is you will be providing them to me if you win! Sharing tent is optional, but it’s my call and depends on how good you look!

So happy bidding!

While we admire the vendor's complete honesty here, any right-minded rock chick will be asking how he came to have a spare ticket in the name of some other female in the first place. We reckon his enlightened attitude toward women may have something to do with it.

Furthermore, we feel it is only fair that willmorrish post a pic of himself on eBay so potential slaves can themselves check out what he's offering in the Adonis department. After all, with bidding currently standing at £10m, the buyer will want to be certain that she will get plenty of bangs for her bucks. ®

Related stories

Oz eBayer punts 24 small Asian children
Stripper flogs breast implant on eBay
Middle Earth for sale on eBay

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012
Thanks for the £3k, Zuck. Doh! you're IN CREDIT. Guess not
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results
Spaffing copyrighted stuff over the web? No search ranking for you
Microsoft EU warns: If you have ties to the US, Feds can get your data
European corps can't afford to get complacent while American Big Biz battles Uncle Sam
Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods
You read that right – with the proviso that it's encrypted
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.