Feeds

Woman rebrands as GoldenPalace.com

The eBayer formerly known as Terri Ilagan

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Golden Palace Casino announced today that it has added the latest acquisition to its manifest of preposterous eBay purchases by paying a 33-year-old US woman $15,199 to legally change her name to GoldenPalace.com.

Meet Mrs GoldenPalace.comHot on the heels of the online gambling outfit's branding of a Glaswegian woman's cleavage, and its eager consumption of a likeness of the Virgin Mary in a toasted cheese sarnie, Golden Palace has secured the lifelong advertising services of Terri Ilagan.

The mother of five explained: "I was driving one day and I told my husband, I don't think anyone's tried to sell their name on eBay yet. So I put it up for auction and I got all kind of responses within 24 hours of it being listed."

Sigh. Regarding now being legally required to rebrand as Mrs GoldenPalace.com, Ilagan confessed: "To my kids and to my husband, I will always be Terri. My husband is real supportive. He thinks it's funny. As long as they get to call me Mom, they don't care. They are already starting to tease me and call me Goldie."

Golden Palace supremo Richard Rowe chipped in: "We hope that the money spent will go a long way in helping GoldenPalace.com's family. Anyone that has kids knows the enormous expense that it requires to provide for them. We are happy to help GoldenPalace.com make ends meet."

Rowe added: "This is a new step in edgy marketing. We know that this will receive widespread media attention." Sadly, he's right. We await with tabloid fervour the announcement that Golden Palace has paid $30,000 for some cash-strapped eBayer to have the company's logo tattooed on his todger which, when viewed from the right angle, bears a faint resemblance to Mahatma Gandhi. ®

Related stories

Stripper flogs breast implant on eBay
Casino brands eBay cleavage woman
eCasino snaps up Virgin Mary cheese sarnie

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Lords take revenge on REVENGE PORN publishers
Jilted Johns and Jennies with busy fingers face two years inside
Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook
New iPhone biz baron points to Apple's (his) greatest successes
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Edward who? GCHQ boss dodges Snowden topic during last speech
UK spies would rather 'walk' than do 'mass surveillance'
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.