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Woman rebrands as GoldenPalace.com

The eBayer formerly known as Terri Ilagan

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Golden Palace Casino announced today that it has added the latest acquisition to its manifest of preposterous eBay purchases by paying a 33-year-old US woman $15,199 to legally change her name to GoldenPalace.com.

Meet Mrs GoldenPalace.comHot on the heels of the online gambling outfit's branding of a Glaswegian woman's cleavage, and its eager consumption of a likeness of the Virgin Mary in a toasted cheese sarnie, Golden Palace has secured the lifelong advertising services of Terri Ilagan.

The mother of five explained: "I was driving one day and I told my husband, I don't think anyone's tried to sell their name on eBay yet. So I put it up for auction and I got all kind of responses within 24 hours of it being listed."

Sigh. Regarding now being legally required to rebrand as Mrs GoldenPalace.com, Ilagan confessed: "To my kids and to my husband, I will always be Terri. My husband is real supportive. He thinks it's funny. As long as they get to call me Mom, they don't care. They are already starting to tease me and call me Goldie."

Golden Palace supremo Richard Rowe chipped in: "We hope that the money spent will go a long way in helping GoldenPalace.com's family. Anyone that has kids knows the enormous expense that it requires to provide for them. We are happy to help GoldenPalace.com make ends meet."

Rowe added: "This is a new step in edgy marketing. We know that this will receive widespread media attention." Sadly, he's right. We await with tabloid fervour the announcement that Golden Palace has paid $30,000 for some cash-strapped eBayer to have the company's logo tattooed on his todger which, when viewed from the right angle, bears a faint resemblance to Mahatma Gandhi. ®

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