Feeds

Fire-breathing bus attacks South London

Hysterical Londoners flee renewed assault

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Hysterical Londoners were last week subjected to a further terrifying ordeal after another Satanic bendy bus caught fire prompting immediate evacuation of the murderous vehicle.

We say terrifying not because the incident was in any way life-threatening, but because the attack was timed to cause maximum emotional distress - the articulated single-decker was at the time in New Cross, which means that the victims were obliged to spend longer in the sun-kissed South London paradise than absolutely necessary. Nasty.

Regular readers will recall that three bendy buses last year spontaneously combusted, provoking a temporary withdrawal of the entire fleet. The cause was later attributed to "a hose used in the bus engines", as the BBC rather vaguely puts it.

The suicidal omnibus (route 436, bus enthusiasts will be interested to note) has been "taken to a garage for inspection". We have no doubt that bendy bus champion "Red" Ken Livingstone will be waiting to once again cover up the real reason for the outrage and silence any witnesses in the traditional manner - by offering them a lifelong exemption from congestion charges and a family pass for the London Eye.

We take this opportunity to once again warn readers about the bendy bus menace and to demand the immediate redeployment of Routemasters across the capital. ®

The Rise of the Machines™

Dyson unleashes self-replicating hoover
Battling teen crushes roboarm menace
French join motorised Lizard Alliance
Lizard Army develops copulating robot
We are Zogg: The Cuddly Menace
Lizard Army invades Alaska
London menaced by flaming DVD players
Killer hoover attacks Scotsman
Car self-destructs in assassination bid
The rise of the rat-brain controlled android
Japanese unveil trumpet-playing robot
Boffins unleash robotic cockroach
Ukrainian teen fights the Rise of the Machines
Man in satanic Renault terror ordeal
Killer cyberappliances: Satan implicated
US develops motorised robobollard
Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie
A robot in every home by 2010
Cyberappliances attack Italian village
Fire-breathing buses threaten London
Cyberloo blast rocks Stoke-on-Trent
Spanish cyberkiosks claim second victim
Cyberkiosk assaults Spanish teenager
Hi-tech toilet caught on camera
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins
Robo-sub scans freezing waters, rocks warming models
I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations
Quick, call the Time Cops to sort out this paradox!
Your PHONE is slowly KILLING YOU
Doctors find new Digitillnesses - 'text neck' and 'telepressure'
Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs
And a floating carrier for recyclable rockets
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
Rosetta science team thinks Philae might come to life in the spring
And disclose the biggest surprise of Comet 67P
prev story

Whitepapers

Seattle children’s accelerates Citrix login times by 500% with cross-tier insight
Seattle Children’s is a leading research hospital with a large and growing Citrix XenDesktop deployment. See how they used ExtraHop to accelerate launch times.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.