Feeds

Fire-breathing bus attacks South London

Hysterical Londoners flee renewed assault

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Hysterical Londoners were last week subjected to a further terrifying ordeal after another Satanic bendy bus caught fire prompting immediate evacuation of the murderous vehicle.

We say terrifying not because the incident was in any way life-threatening, but because the attack was timed to cause maximum emotional distress - the articulated single-decker was at the time in New Cross, which means that the victims were obliged to spend longer in the sun-kissed South London paradise than absolutely necessary. Nasty.

Regular readers will recall that three bendy buses last year spontaneously combusted, provoking a temporary withdrawal of the entire fleet. The cause was later attributed to "a hose used in the bus engines", as the BBC rather vaguely puts it.

The suicidal omnibus (route 436, bus enthusiasts will be interested to note) has been "taken to a garage for inspection". We have no doubt that bendy bus champion "Red" Ken Livingstone will be waiting to once again cover up the real reason for the outrage and silence any witnesses in the traditional manner - by offering them a lifelong exemption from congestion charges and a family pass for the London Eye.

We take this opportunity to once again warn readers about the bendy bus menace and to demand the immediate redeployment of Routemasters across the capital. ®

The Rise of the Machines™

Dyson unleashes self-replicating hoover
Battling teen crushes roboarm menace
French join motorised Lizard Alliance
Lizard Army develops copulating robot
We are Zogg: The Cuddly Menace
Lizard Army invades Alaska
London menaced by flaming DVD players
Killer hoover attacks Scotsman
Car self-destructs in assassination bid
The rise of the rat-brain controlled android
Japanese unveil trumpet-playing robot
Boffins unleash robotic cockroach
Ukrainian teen fights the Rise of the Machines
Man in satanic Renault terror ordeal
Killer cyberappliances: Satan implicated
US develops motorised robobollard
Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie
A robot in every home by 2010
Cyberappliances attack Italian village
Fire-breathing buses threaten London
Cyberloo blast rocks Stoke-on-Trent
Spanish cyberkiosks claim second victim
Cyberkiosk assaults Spanish teenager
Hi-tech toilet caught on camera
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Our LOHAN spaceplane ballocket Kickstarter climbs through £8000
Through 25 per cent but more is needed: Get your UNIQUE rewards!
LOHAN tunes into ultra long range radio
And verily, Vultures shall speak status unto distant receivers
NASA to reformat Opportunity rover's memory from 125 million miles away
Interplanetary admins will back up data and get to work
SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk
No injuries or near injuries. Flight stayed in designated area
EOS, Lockheed to track space junk from Oz
WA facility gets laser-eyes out of the fog
Volcanic eruption in Iceland triggers CODE RED aviation warning
Lava-spitting Bárðarbunga prompts action from Met Office
LOHAN Kickstarter breaks NINETEEN THOUSAND of your EARTH POUNDS
That's right, OVER 9,000 beer tokens - and counting
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.