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Americans roll out tinfoil automobile

Full stealth mode, 100% secure

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Those readers who regularly don a tinfoil hat - the only proven protection against black helicopter-borne mind control attack - might have wondered how to fully protect themselves against electromagnetic assault whilst travelling to the mall to pick up some oven-ready pizzas and extra bacofoil.

It is with great pleasure, then, that we are able to unveil the Foiled Car, courtesy of Ernie's House of Whoop Ass! Full specs are not forthcoming, but we reckon that Lockheed Martin's Skunk Works may have had a hand in this project, judging by the hi-tech, classified material used in the vehicle's construction.

The tinfoil car: 100 per cent protection against electromagnetic assault

You'll note too that the spook-busting car operates in full stealth mode, with the make, model, registration and driver totally invisible to enemy forces. Clever stuff.

Anyone interested in the tinfoil car is advised to make contact in the usual way - dead letter drop in the Montana wilderness and await further instructions. Under no circumstances should you enquire at your local Ford dealership, because the black helicopters will be overhead before you get out of the parking lot. You have been warned. ®

Bootnote

A pint as requested for security-conscious reader J. McGowan for alerting us to this magnificent vehicle.

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Warning! Black Helicopters

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