Feeds

Americans roll out tinfoil automobile

Full stealth mode, 100% secure

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Power of One eBook: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Those readers who regularly don a tinfoil hat - the only proven protection against black helicopter-borne mind control attack - might have wondered how to fully protect themselves against electromagnetic assault whilst travelling to the mall to pick up some oven-ready pizzas and extra bacofoil.

It is with great pleasure, then, that we are able to unveil the Foiled Car, courtesy of Ernie's House of Whoop Ass! Full specs are not forthcoming, but we reckon that Lockheed Martin's Skunk Works may have had a hand in this project, judging by the hi-tech, classified material used in the vehicle's construction.

The tinfoil car: 100 per cent protection against electromagnetic assault

You'll note too that the spook-busting car operates in full stealth mode, with the make, model, registration and driver totally invisible to enemy forces. Clever stuff.

Anyone interested in the tinfoil car is advised to make contact in the usual way - dead letter drop in the Montana wilderness and await further instructions. Under no circumstances should you enquire at your local Ford dealership, because the black helicopters will be overhead before you get out of the parking lot. You have been warned. ®

Bootnote

A pint as requested for security-conscious reader J. McGowan for alerting us to this magnificent vehicle.

Related stories

Tinfoil hats to retail with RFID tags?
Warning! Black Helicopters

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.