Czech outfit Jablotron has just announced the imminent release of its GSM Desktop Phone GDP-02 - a big, big mobe aimed at those for whom a thumbnail-sized 3G designer statement is just going to get lost among the remnants of the Rich Tea biscuits and fairy cakes.

Yup, its "deploy demeaning old person cliché" time again, as one irate reader described our last examination of Old Timer tech - something we consider a little strong since we at no stage mentioned budgies or hip replacements.

In this case, however, we'll let the company's blurb do the talking:

With the GDP-02 “Grand” you can enjoy the comfort and simplicity of an ordinary phone and at the same time the freedom and other benefits of a mobile network.

While common mobile phones are competing regarding their small size and how many new features they combine, the GDP-02 is large and unique in its simplicity. The life size telephone receiver and large keys allow you to make phone calls as easily as from an ordinary phone. A complete alphabetical “QWERTY” keypad and a large illuminated display make text messages typing and reading so easy that even a grandmother can handle it.

When operating the phone, you are not overwhelmed by too many choices and confusing options.You are offered only basic functions and clear features. Additionally, the hotkeys (READ, WRITE etc.) enable you to do exactly what you really want to do with no menu navigating.

Etc, etc. Truth be told, we at El Reg can see no difference between this and cheap, readily-available big-key conventional phones, except that the GDP-02 has no wires so it's much easier to drag down the Post Office on pension day. It must be this which has reportedly contributed to 100,000 advance orders for the GrannyMobe, 7,000 of which have been delivered to an unnamed mobe operator.

The GDP-02 goes on sale next week in the Czech Republic for $216. Expect imminent outbreak of pensioner-generated text messages along the lines of "BDGI GR8. HIP SOR. OFF 2 POST OFF. GRAN".

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