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UK braces for black Monday 24th

Misery, depression, despair

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A tutor at Cardiff University has calculated that - for the UK at least - next Monday, 24 January will mark a zenith of misery for the country as semi-sucicidal Brits descend into a black mire of depression and despair, the BBC reports.

The causes are all too familiar to long-suffering citizens of the rain-lashed United Kingdom: crap weather, personal debt on a developing-world scale, post-Xmas blues and a general apathy-inducing malaise.

That, at least, is according to Cliff Arnalls who has developed a formula - 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA - which is able to pinpoint the worst day of the year.

Factors included in the calculation are:

  • W: Weather
  • D: Debt
  • d: Money due in January pay
  • T: Time since Christmas
  • Q: Time since failed quit attempt
  • M: General motivational levels
  • NA: The need to take action

Arnalls noted that "any energy from the holiday had worn off by the third week of January", and added: "By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions."

That, coupled to a lack of wedge, inertia and inclement weather conspire to make Monday 24 January the absolute pits for Brits.

There is, however, a little ray of sunshine in the Stygian darkness about to descent on our Sceptered Isle: GPs recommend exercise and reading about depression as ways to combat the Black Dog. We agree about the exercise - running to catch a taxi to Heathrow in order to board a plane to Barbados seems the perfect way to beat the January Blues. ®

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