Feeds

UK braces for black Monday 24th

Misery, depression, despair

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

A tutor at Cardiff University has calculated that - for the UK at least - next Monday, 24 January will mark a zenith of misery for the country as semi-sucicidal Brits descend into a black mire of depression and despair, the BBC reports.

The causes are all too familiar to long-suffering citizens of the rain-lashed United Kingdom: crap weather, personal debt on a developing-world scale, post-Xmas blues and a general apathy-inducing malaise.

That, at least, is according to Cliff Arnalls who has developed a formula - 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA - which is able to pinpoint the worst day of the year.

Factors included in the calculation are:

  • W: Weather
  • D: Debt
  • d: Money due in January pay
  • T: Time since Christmas
  • Q: Time since failed quit attempt
  • M: General motivational levels
  • NA: The need to take action

Arnalls noted that "any energy from the holiday had worn off by the third week of January", and added: "By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions."

That, coupled to a lack of wedge, inertia and inclement weather conspire to make Monday 24 January the absolute pits for Brits.

There is, however, a little ray of sunshine in the Stygian darkness about to descent on our Sceptered Isle: GPs recommend exercise and reading about depression as ways to combat the Black Dog. We agree about the exercise - running to catch a taxi to Heathrow in order to board a plane to Barbados seems the perfect way to beat the January Blues. ®

Related stories

The world will end tomorrow: official
Website blamed for student suicide
Man found hanged ahead of net suicide pact trial

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.