UK braces for black Monday 24th

Misery, depression, despair

A tutor at Cardiff University has calculated that - for the UK at least - next Monday, 24 January will mark a zenith of misery for the country as semi-sucicidal Brits descend into a black mire of depression and despair, the BBC reports.

The causes are all too familiar to long-suffering citizens of the rain-lashed United Kingdom: crap weather, personal debt on a developing-world scale, post-Xmas blues and a general apathy-inducing malaise.

That, at least, is according to Cliff Arnalls who has developed a formula - 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA - which is able to pinpoint the worst day of the year.

Factors included in the calculation are:

  • W: Weather
  • D: Debt
  • d: Money due in January pay
  • T: Time since Christmas
  • Q: Time since failed quit attempt
  • M: General motivational levels
  • NA: The need to take action

Arnalls noted that "any energy from the holiday had worn off by the third week of January", and added: "By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions."

That, coupled to a lack of wedge, inertia and inclement weather conspire to make Monday 24 January the absolute pits for Brits.

There is, however, a little ray of sunshine in the Stygian darkness about to descent on our Sceptered Isle: GPs recommend exercise and reading about depression as ways to combat the Black Dog. We agree about the exercise - running to catch a taxi to Heathrow in order to board a plane to Barbados seems the perfect way to beat the January Blues. ®

Related stories

The world will end tomorrow: official
Website blamed for student suicide
Man found hanged ahead of net suicide pact trial

Sign up to our Newsletter

Get IT in your inbox daily

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017