Feeds

UK braces for black Monday 24th

Misery, depression, despair

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Business security measures using SSL

A tutor at Cardiff University has calculated that - for the UK at least - next Monday, 24 January will mark a zenith of misery for the country as semi-sucicidal Brits descend into a black mire of depression and despair, the BBC reports.

The causes are all too familiar to long-suffering citizens of the rain-lashed United Kingdom: crap weather, personal debt on a developing-world scale, post-Xmas blues and a general apathy-inducing malaise.

That, at least, is according to Cliff Arnalls who has developed a formula - 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA - which is able to pinpoint the worst day of the year.

Factors included in the calculation are:

  • W: Weather
  • D: Debt
  • d: Money due in January pay
  • T: Time since Christmas
  • Q: Time since failed quit attempt
  • M: General motivational levels
  • NA: The need to take action

Arnalls noted that "any energy from the holiday had worn off by the third week of January", and added: "By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions."

That, coupled to a lack of wedge, inertia and inclement weather conspire to make Monday 24 January the absolute pits for Brits.

There is, however, a little ray of sunshine in the Stygian darkness about to descent on our Sceptered Isle: GPs recommend exercise and reading about depression as ways to combat the Black Dog. We agree about the exercise - running to catch a taxi to Heathrow in order to board a plane to Barbados seems the perfect way to beat the January Blues. ®

Related stories

The world will end tomorrow: official
Website blamed for student suicide
Man found hanged ahead of net suicide pact trial

Website security in corporate America

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.