Feeds

US couple seeks cash for Hobbit Hole

Feeling particularly generous this Xmas?

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Long-term readers will remember well the case of the American college student who rattled her tin online to raise cash for a bigger pair of jubs. Successfully, as it turns out, and now a US couple has adopted the web begging process in an attempt to finance the construction of a real-life Hobbit Hole.

We'll cut to the chase on this one, since we don't reckon El Reg fans need an explanation as to what a modern-day Hobbit Hole might look like. Here are the pertinent bits of the website's Q&A section:

What is the point of this website?

We hope to build a Hobbit Hole. Yes, we mean a subterranean dwelling as described above. No, it will not be in Middle Earth, and no, we are not (completely) insane. We are actually quite serious about doing this.

How is this website supposed to accomplish that?

Partially by focusing our efforts, documenting our progress, and (hopefully) partially by accepting donations from others who would like to see this become a reality. If a girl was able to attract enough donations online to enhance her bustline, then hopefully enough people are also interested in seeing a Hobbit Hole become a reality.

So what inspired this project?

As you have probably detected by now, my wife and I are huge fans of the The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings series, and other books about the fantastic realm of Middle Earth created by J. R. R. Tolkien. We are approaching our six month anniversary and have lived thus far in an apartment. Our landlord is wonderful and must have come straight from Heaven, so no complaints there.

Then why do you want to move out?

Because our next-door neighbors on both sides came straight from Hell. They have this little girl that runs around incessantly, sounding like a 3 year old Goliath training for the Olympics. We are also quite familiar with their musical tastes, as we can hear each piece quite distinctly, especially in the early hours of each Saturday and Sunday morning. Even coffee begins to lose its flavor on five hours sleep after awhile. The silence, seclusion, and privacy of a Hobbit Hole would be a true dream come true.

Are you die-hard environmentalists?

No, not really. I mean we don't like polluting and we think recycling is a good idea, but those aren't the main reasons behind this project. We just want a unique home straight out one of our favorite fiction fantasy worlds, to be our retreat from the outside world. We're actually quite huge geeks and fans of technology. Between the two of us we have 2 Sony Clie PDA's, 2 Desktop computers, 3 Laptop computers, and about a dozen video game systems. Broadband Internet access will be a must, as will Digital Satellite HDTV, so we can continue to enjoy Buffy, Charmed, The Daily Show, and our DVD collection. If you want to know more about us, you can bore yourself with our livejournals, mine and my wife's.

And what will I get out of this?

The satisfaction of helping someone with a crazy dream? If you want something more tangible, then rest assured I'll definitely keep this site updated with news on our progress and eventual pictures. Maybe I'll even end up giving tours of the Hobbit Hole if several people's donations stand out above the rest. I can't give tours to thousands of people, but if you donate a grand as opposed to donating five bucks, such a request wouldn't be out of line.

Enough. Try this for size: I'm a forty-four year old journalist and my neighbours annoy me. I like buildings in the style of Catalan architect Gaudi so I'd like you to give me money to construct a scaled-down replica of Barcelona's Sagrada Familia cathedral. If you give me enough money, I might let you in for five minutes to grab a few pictures. If you donate just ten bucks, I'm afraid you'll just have to imagine what it's like to live in such a structure. But you will at least have the satisfaction of having allowed me to escape my nightmarish existence.

In summary, here's a bit of fundraising advice for our wannabe Hobbits: sell the Clies, the three laptops, one of the desktops and all of the video game systems. Then use the money raised to finance said Hobbit Hole. It's a start. Working will also help generate more funds. A mortgage will cover the rest. Happy Xmas.

Related stories

College girl's breasts get $4,500 lift
College girl's breasts provoke stiff competition
Woman's breasts swell online charity coffers

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.