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Car self-destructs in assassination bid

Frenchman shaken after terror ordeal

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A middle-aged Frenchman has become the latest victim of murderous technology after his car exploded as he activated the central locking system.

The unnamed victim from Valenciennes used his electronic key to unlock the vehicle, at which point a spark from the security system ignited leaked gas from cylinders the man had rather ill-advisedly stored in the boot. The car was completely totalled in the blast, while the flying Frenchman as whisked to hospital with facial injuries.

The make of the car is not noted, but we suspect that it may be a Renault - a brand known to enjoy kidnapping drivers as part of the international technological conspiracy to enslave humanity. ®

Bootnote

Merci beaucoup to Rory Bourke for spotting this latest manifestation of killer technology.

The Rise of the Machines™

The rise of the rat-brain controlled android
Japanese unveil trumpet-playing robot
Boffins unleash robotic cockroach
Ukrainian teen fights the Rise of the Machines
Man in satanic Renault terror ordeal
Killer cyberappliances: Satan implicated
US develops motorised robobollard
Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie
A robot in every home by 2010
Cyberappliances attack Italian village
Fire-breathing buses threaten London
Cyberloo blast rocks Stoke-on-Trent
Spanish cyberkiosks claim second victim
Cyberkiosk assaults Spanish teenager
Hi-tech toilet caught on camera
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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