Feeds

Speeding motorist says aliens to blame

Going too fast? Finger ET

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Remote control for virtualized desktops

The Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership, aka "Safe speed for life" has just published its top 10 excuses for geting nobbled by a speed, sorry, safety camera. Top of the list is alien-induced trance, closely followed by blaming excessive velocity on a passing aircraft. The list is culled from the letters received by fixed-penalty units in which motorists attempt to extricate themselves from copping a fine for speeding.

Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership manager Ray King said: "Some drivers seem to think that if they tell a good enough story then they will get off, which unfortunately rarely works. It is quite amazing the lengths some drivers will go to to avoid £60 and three points, when really the alternative is extremely simple - keep within the speed limit."

Quite so - just like the driver of the 406mph Peugeot we reported on back in January, who should have known better than to push his petrol-driven rocket beyond the limits of credulity for the benefit of the cameras.

But we digress. The top ten list is:

  1. I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.
  2. I was in the airport’s flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.
  3. I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.
  4. There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit.
  5. My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital.
  6. The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.
  7. I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.
  8. A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.
  9. There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.
  10. The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.

Good stuff. Might we suggest, though, that there is an absolute cracker missing from this litany of shame: "I saw the chief constable in charge of traffic for Greater Manchester go past me at 104mph and decided to give chase and effect a citizen's arrest." Yup, it works for us. ®

Related stories

Speed camera clocks motorist at 406 mph
Swede snared in UK snowmobile parking blitz
When is a speed camera not a speed camera?

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence
Download Choosing a Cloud Hosting Provider with Confidence to learn more about cloud computing - the new opportunities and new security challenges.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.