Feeds

eBayer punts Virgin Mary in grilled cheese sandwich

Toasted simulacrum madness

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top three mobile application threats

Ever had one of those momemts when a crucifix was not enough? When a christingle couldn't cut it? When you wanted to show your faith in a tangible, unequivocally ecumenical way?

Well, the answer is at hand! Prove your piety by purchasing the world's tastiest holy relic, the Virgin Mary in Grilled Cheese, currently at the low low price of $99,999,999.

Virgin Mary in Grilled Cheese

The seller has provided irrefutable proof of divine provenance:

I made this sandwich 10 years ago, when I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up at me, It was Virgin Mary starring back at me, I was in total shock, I would like to point out there is no mold or disingration, The item has not been preserved or anything, It has been keep in a plastic case, not a special one that seals out air or potiental mold or bacteria, it is like a miracle, It has just preserved itself which in itself I consider a miracle, people ask me if I have had blessings since she has been in my home, I do feel I have, I have won $70,000 (total) on different occasions at the casino near by my house,

Clearly the Madonna has decreed that gambling shall no longer be held as sinful as well as exercising divine powers over the forces of corruption, including cheese-eating fungus.

The seller warns against foolish consumption of Our Lady, however:

I would like all bidders to know that this item is not intended for consumption, it is intended for collectable purposes only

All bidders must be pre-approved by the seller, presumably after undergoing a gruelling test of their faith via email. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Rob Griggs-Taylor for his pious powers of observation.

A further sighting has been reported. Truly the Day of Judgement is at hand, for we are entering a time of great portents.

Thanks to Chris Priest for showing us the way.

Related stories

eBay paper Vulcan hits £1m
German flogs Saddam's left leg on web
For sale: Vulcan bomber, one belligerent owner
Man flogs wedding invite on eBay

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
Auntie tight-lipped as major outage rolls on
iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms
But never fear fanbois, you're still lapping up iPhones, Macs
Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE
4,000 pixels is niche now... Don't say we didn't warn you
Amazon Reveals One Weird Trick: A Loss On Almost $20bn In Sales
Investors really hate it: Share price plunge as growth SLOWS in key AWS division
Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle
Music gear giant seeks some of that sweet, sweet Apple pie
There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES
Even France's mega subsidies don't stop US content onslaught
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
Too many IT conferences to cover? MICROSOFT to the RESCUE!
Yet more word of cuts emerges from Redmond
Chips are down at Broadcom: Thousands of workers laid off
Cellphone baseband device biz shuttered
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.