Grieving Arafat widow seeks business partner
Lads from Lagos pop up in Palestine
Readers are invited to spare a moment this morning to consider the plight of the tearful widow of Yasser Arafat - recently departed for the great intifada in the sky. It seems she's having a bit of a trouble in the "getting my wedge out of Palestine" department. Maybe you can help?
From: SUHA ARAFAT [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2004 5:00 AM
To: ----- Subject: I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE; SUHA ARAFAT
This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular.
I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.
You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government. In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for woman, hence my desire for a foreign assistance.
I have deposited the sum of 20 million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any Investment opportunity. This arrangement is known to you and my personal Attorney. He might be dealing with you directly for security reasons as the case may be.
In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $20,000,000 that will be kept in your position for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahwa, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family Estate/inheritance.
Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are hornet, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children.
In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please expedite action.
Well, we're going to award this 419 solicitation a respectable six out of ten for effort, since it's not often that the Lads from Lagos take such pains to elaborate their emails with ostensibly plausible background. Anyone who's been following the Suha Arafat saga will know that she is alleged to have been paid in excess of $20m to reveal the whereabouts of her former hubby's vast (and real) wealth - suitably secreted in various offshore bank accounts.
So far so good, but where our scamming friends' tale of woe fall down is in the concept of Mrs Arafat as simpering victim. Suha has been making a proper nuisance of herself for years - in between bouts of shopping for designer clothes - and once got into a verbal punch-up with Hillary Clinton during which she rounded on Israel, much to the embarrassment of just about everyone except herself.
Our advice? Give this one a miss and await the call from a less inflammatory widow, such as the former missus of Liberia's Charles Taylor. According to recent email updates, she is still sitting in Ivory Coast, bless her, with a suitcase bulging with illicit funds just waiting for Mr Right to come along and offer his assistance. ®
Cheers to Gary Hinson for taking a close interest in Palestinian financial shenanigans.
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