For sale: missiles, heroin and exploding Barbies
Xmas gifts for the man who has everything
With all the highly depressing spam we have to trawl through each and every day - including lamentable 419 solicitations and offers of instant penis engorgement and cheap Rolex watches - it always nice to get a missive which might actually prove useful. In this case, any reader who feels he's a bit underendowed in the ordnance department will certainly find something to make his Xmas go with a bang:
Hello our potential customer
We would like to introduce our new-born sites
where you can shop around most wanted and needed items in your life.
Our weapon section has wide range of hard-to-find machine guns, silencers, armour-piercing ammos and others.
First of all, let's check our 3 top-selling items:
1. Russian surface-to-air missle SA-14 "Gremlin" (upgraded analog of SS-16 "Strela") from our supplies in Kazakhstan. Due to high demand, it takes about 4 weeks to backorder that item. Weight is 10,2 kg., lenght - 1427 mm. You can make a huge party and you can have tons of fun launching your "Gremlin" with your buddies.
2. Israeli bestselling submashine-gun "Tavor" 5.56" (upgraded analog of 7.65" "Uzi"), comes with 2 full clips of standart ammo + bonus one clip of armour-piercing ammo.
3. Russian booby trap made in 5 versions:
- a bottle of Jim Beam (200 grammes of C4 inside),
- a can of Budlight beer (150 grammes of C4 inside),
- a Barbie-doll (100 grammes of C4 inside),
- a cell phone (50 grammes of C4 inside),
- a lighter Zippo (25 grammes of C4 insid
You can take one with you to the school or college and have alot of fun with your buddies. Buy more than 10 pieces of booby traps, and we upgrade C4 to C4+ for free. (C4+ can not be detected in airports or any other areas).
Also we have our Dutch-based shop where you can buy some drugs to make your life more wonderful and funny. We have wide selection of Ganzha, Crack, both synthetic and natural Heroin. And our prices are affordables for everyone.
If you want to buy anything from us, just visit our site, contact administrator and get full price-list. We accept all major credit cards, wire transfers and money orders.
Please ask for details if you want to use Western Union or Moneygram money transfers.
P.S. Due to our government laws all items from our shop can be sold only to 18+ aged people. We can ask you for age verification before shipping.
Nicely done. It appears that the Russian rascals behind this bit of mischief are normally to be found enaged in "network terrorism" - which sort of makes sense. We do hope, however, that they aren't too zoned out on synthetic heroin and "ganzha" to blow fulfilling the flood of orders that will doubtless land on their doorstep in the lead-up to the festive season. An SA-14 "Gremlin"? It'll make a nice change from socks and an M&S jumper. ®
A hearty Na zdorove! to Brendan McKitrick for spotting this exciting shopping opportunity.