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Wobbly Aussies fail squat-to-pee test

Westerners' imbalance ruins research programme

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Australian research into the perfect peeing position has faltered because a third of the study's volunteers couldn't squat properly. Apparently, a third of the 100 women who were taking part couldn't hold the squat position for even 30 seconds before falling over, leading the researchers to conclude that Westerners cannot squat.

This baffled us sufficiently that we had to conduct a field trial, to find out exactly what it is about squatting that is so difficult for Westerners. The good news is that everyone at The Register can squat quite comfortably, although we stress that we were not trying to pee at the time of the test.

For those who must know, the correct squatting position involves the feet being flat on the floor, and it seems this is the tricky part. Our tight Western calves mean that when our feet are flat on the ground, we tend to fall over backwards.

The research, being conducted at the James Cook University by Professor Ajay Rane, is the second phase of a project designed to investigate causes of incontinence. Earlier, Professor Rane determined that the best possible position to pee in when sitting on a toilet, is feet flat, leaning forward as if reading something on the floor.

In this phase, he collected data on the 100 women for two years. Equipment collected data on the speed and volume of urine and measured how long it took to get to maximum peeing speed. No, we are not making this up.

More on the health benefits of squatting can be found here Seriously, have a look. It's a riot. ®

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