Bush website conspiracy theories darken skies

Black helicopters circle Vulture Central

The official Bush re-election website - which blocked access to most of the world outside the US this week - is still visible to Canadians.

We don't know if it's fears about future attacks by hackers, concerns about keeping bandwidth costs to a minimum or an aggressive response to pinko UK broadsheet The Guardian's recent shameful pro-Kerry political lobbying efforts in Ohio which are behind moves that have rendered GeorgeWBush.com inaccessible to world + dog. Or, to be strictly accurate, most of the world bar the US and Canada which is presumably considered bandwidth-friendly, hacker-free and mercifully bereft of pinko broadsheets.

We called the Republican National Committee for comment but they couldn't get back to us because campaign volunteers are not allowed to phone outside the US.

So, we can't see Bush's website because of reckless politicking by pinko broadsheet agitators, Republicans can't call outside the US lest they be corrupted by pinko broadsheet agitators, but Canadians are exempt because - well, readers will have to answer that for themselves but a massive black swarm of black helicopters is already hovering menacingly on the horizon.

Meanwhile, the official website of the Kerry/Edwards campaign (JohnKerry.com) is still accessible to all and sundry - as is the satire site GeorgeWBush.org. How many would-be visitors to GeorgeWBush.com - including US service men and citizens living abroad and now denied their God-given right to freely surf the Land of the Free - will wind up at the satire site, we wonder? We weep for democracy. ®

Related stories

Bush website adopts isolationist stance
Guardian US vote wheeze down in flames
Lime-sucking Brits absorb heavy US flak
Bush's search for clean Cuban hookers goes awry

Sponsored: 10 ways wire data helps conquer IT complexity