Feeds

Man flogs wedding invite on eBay

Evidently not keen to attend nuptials

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Updated Let's face it - we've all been invited to functions we'd rather not attend, and weddings can often inspire a special kind of dread. There are three options open to the reluctant guest: bite you lip and turn up with a fixed grin on your face; fake a terrible car accident the week before; or sell your invitation on eBay to the highest bidder.

The latter is the course selected by the Aberdeen man who is offering "2 invitations to a wedding I don't want to go to". However, rather than giving some lame excuse for his non-participation (I caught ebola from my neighbour's cat, etc), he's decided to lay it on the line:

I've been invited to the wedding of a mate of mine who I used to know really well until he started going out with the girl he's going to marry. She's a dog. No really. I haven't seen them since I told her she's a dog over two years ago. They've stupidly invited me to their wedding, but I don't want to go. It's an invite to me '+plus 1" and involves the afternoon reception (a sit down meal in a 4 star restaurant) and evening piss up (a bus will carry you there, and drag you to the nearest b&b or trainstation after. Should be a good day out. All in all I reckon there's a good £150 worth of entertainment if you time it right. No one will know you're not me except the groom and he'll be so pissed trying to forget his new wife's a dog he won't notice. The only thing is, because she's such a dog, they might not get married, so I reserve the right to cancel the bidding.

On 16-Oct-04 at 08:59:59 BST, seller added the following information:

Since listing the tickets I've been contacted by quite a few people who think they're going to the same wedding. As it happens, 3 of you are and want to sell your tickets too. So this auction is now for 5 tickets to the wedding of a mate to a dog that we don't want to go to. Getting five of you into a wedding might be a bit of a gamble, so I'll keep the buy it now price the same, but you're now looking at at least £400 worth of free booze, good food. Even if you have to listen to her dad do karaoke, and watch her mum try to get off with the ushers.

On 18-Oct-04 at 11:50:06 BST, seller added the following information:

For those who've been asking, I can email photo's of the invite. I didn't want to post them as I thought the pink feather trmming might make it a bit too obvious which wedding I'm talking about. Suffice to say they play a pretty good version of 'livin' la vida loca' when opened.

On 19-Oct-04 at 15:29:39 BST, seller added the following information:

I'm getting a lot of questions, so thanks to everyone who's expressed an interest. Unfortunately I'm going to have to dissappoint most of you by telling you that the bridesmaids are likely to be dogs too. I know, it's a marital travesty. The bride's best mate works in a chippy in Colchester, and they always used to go boozing in Stoke with her aunt who I seem to remember had a penchant for DKNY tracksuits, Pineapple Bacardi Breezers and cafe creme. Now, on the basis there's a 100% certainty that at least one of them is a bridesmaid, there's not a lot of optimisim I can inject, is there? That and the fact that I've heard that 2 of the ushers are now trying to sell their tickets on loot having had the tip off about her mother.

Despite the vendor's admirably honest insistence that this will be the chav wedding of the millennium, the bidding for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity reached a healthy £10,000 before frivolous bets were binned and the sum settled back to a rather more sane level. Readers should note that the auction has just a couple of days left to run, so you'd better brush off that DKNY dinner jacket and get in there sharpish.

Update

The truth is out. Here's the seller's final update explaining the real reason for his shocking behaviour:

On 22-Oct-04 at 09:44:25 BST, seller added the following information:

Most of you have hit the nail on the head, you know. I still love the old dog, despite what she did to me. And, thanks to the Colchester Massiv’s "Honk if you’re Twinklydog’s Dog" campaign, she got in touch this morning and we’ve had a good chat. It’s a bit of a gamble, but I’m going to pull the auction, go to Aberdeen and see whether she’ll put a stop to this sham of a wedding and marry me instead. Hope you understand. The cab’s outside, I’ve got to go.

Bless. There's nothing quite like an (almost) happy ending to bring a tear to the eye, is there?

Related stories

Oi, Chav! Check out me website!
eBay UK is five
On the skive? Then visit eBay

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012
Thanks for the £3k, Zuck. Doh! you're IN CREDIT. Guess not
Big Content outs piracy hotbeds: São Paulo, Beijing ... TORONTO?
MPAA calls Canadians a bunch of bootlegging movie thieves
Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec
You need an emotional connection, says touchy-feely MD... We can do that
YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results
Spaffing copyrighted stuff over the web? No search ranking for you
Just don't blame Bono! Apple iTunes music sales PLUMMET
Cupertino revenue hit by cheapo downloads, says report
Hungary's internet tax cannot be allowed to set a precedent, says EC
More protests planned against giga-tariff for Tuesday evening
US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'
Netizens allegedly duped into paying for bogus tech advice
ISPs handbagged: BLOCK knock-off sites, rules beak
Historic trademark victory, but sunset clause applies to future blocks
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Getting ahead of the compliance curve
Learn about new services that make it easy to discover and manage certificates across the enterprise and how to get ahead of the compliance curve.