Feeds

Man flogs wedding invite on eBay

Evidently not keen to attend nuptials

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Boost IT visibility and business value

Updated Let's face it - we've all been invited to functions we'd rather not attend, and weddings can often inspire a special kind of dread. There are three options open to the reluctant guest: bite you lip and turn up with a fixed grin on your face; fake a terrible car accident the week before; or sell your invitation on eBay to the highest bidder.

The latter is the course selected by the Aberdeen man who is offering "2 invitations to a wedding I don't want to go to". However, rather than giving some lame excuse for his non-participation (I caught ebola from my neighbour's cat, etc), he's decided to lay it on the line:

I've been invited to the wedding of a mate of mine who I used to know really well until he started going out with the girl he's going to marry. She's a dog. No really. I haven't seen them since I told her she's a dog over two years ago. They've stupidly invited me to their wedding, but I don't want to go. It's an invite to me '+plus 1" and involves the afternoon reception (a sit down meal in a 4 star restaurant) and evening piss up (a bus will carry you there, and drag you to the nearest b&b or trainstation after. Should be a good day out. All in all I reckon there's a good £150 worth of entertainment if you time it right. No one will know you're not me except the groom and he'll be so pissed trying to forget his new wife's a dog he won't notice. The only thing is, because she's such a dog, they might not get married, so I reserve the right to cancel the bidding.

On 16-Oct-04 at 08:59:59 BST, seller added the following information:

Since listing the tickets I've been contacted by quite a few people who think they're going to the same wedding. As it happens, 3 of you are and want to sell your tickets too. So this auction is now for 5 tickets to the wedding of a mate to a dog that we don't want to go to. Getting five of you into a wedding might be a bit of a gamble, so I'll keep the buy it now price the same, but you're now looking at at least £400 worth of free booze, good food. Even if you have to listen to her dad do karaoke, and watch her mum try to get off with the ushers.

On 18-Oct-04 at 11:50:06 BST, seller added the following information:

For those who've been asking, I can email photo's of the invite. I didn't want to post them as I thought the pink feather trmming might make it a bit too obvious which wedding I'm talking about. Suffice to say they play a pretty good version of 'livin' la vida loca' when opened.

On 19-Oct-04 at 15:29:39 BST, seller added the following information:

I'm getting a lot of questions, so thanks to everyone who's expressed an interest. Unfortunately I'm going to have to dissappoint most of you by telling you that the bridesmaids are likely to be dogs too. I know, it's a marital travesty. The bride's best mate works in a chippy in Colchester, and they always used to go boozing in Stoke with her aunt who I seem to remember had a penchant for DKNY tracksuits, Pineapple Bacardi Breezers and cafe creme. Now, on the basis there's a 100% certainty that at least one of them is a bridesmaid, there's not a lot of optimisim I can inject, is there? That and the fact that I've heard that 2 of the ushers are now trying to sell their tickets on loot having had the tip off about her mother.

Despite the vendor's admirably honest insistence that this will be the chav wedding of the millennium, the bidding for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity reached a healthy £10,000 before frivolous bets were binned and the sum settled back to a rather more sane level. Readers should note that the auction has just a couple of days left to run, so you'd better brush off that DKNY dinner jacket and get in there sharpish.

Update

The truth is out. Here's the seller's final update explaining the real reason for his shocking behaviour:

On 22-Oct-04 at 09:44:25 BST, seller added the following information:

Most of you have hit the nail on the head, you know. I still love the old dog, despite what she did to me. And, thanks to the Colchester Massiv’s "Honk if you’re Twinklydog’s Dog" campaign, she got in touch this morning and we’ve had a good chat. It’s a bit of a gamble, but I’m going to pull the auction, go to Aberdeen and see whether she’ll put a stop to this sham of a wedding and marry me instead. Hope you understand. The cab’s outside, I’ve got to go.

Bless. There's nothing quite like an (almost) happy ending to bring a tear to the eye, is there?

Related stories

Oi, Chav! Check out me website!
eBay UK is five
On the skive? Then visit eBay

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

More from The Register

next story
BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
Auntie tight-lipped as major outage rolls on
iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms
But never fear fanbois, you're still lapping up iPhones, Macs
Sonos AXES support for Apple's iOS4 and 5
Want to use your iThing? You can't - it's too old
Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE
4,000 pixels is niche now... Don't say we didn't warn you
Philip K Dick 'Nazi alternate reality' story to be made into TV series
Amazon Studios, Ridley Scott firm to produce The Man in the High Castle
There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES
Even France's mega subsidies don't stop US content onslaught
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
Too many IT conferences to cover? MICROSOFT to the RESCUE!
Yet more word of cuts emerges from Redmond
Joe Average isn't worth $10 a year to Mark Zuckerberg
The Social Network deflates the PC resurgence with mobile-only usage prediction
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.