Feeds

Man flogs wedding invite on eBay

Evidently not keen to attend nuptials

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

Updated Let's face it - we've all been invited to functions we'd rather not attend, and weddings can often inspire a special kind of dread. There are three options open to the reluctant guest: bite you lip and turn up with a fixed grin on your face; fake a terrible car accident the week before; or sell your invitation on eBay to the highest bidder.

The latter is the course selected by the Aberdeen man who is offering "2 invitations to a wedding I don't want to go to". However, rather than giving some lame excuse for his non-participation (I caught ebola from my neighbour's cat, etc), he's decided to lay it on the line:

I've been invited to the wedding of a mate of mine who I used to know really well until he started going out with the girl he's going to marry. She's a dog. No really. I haven't seen them since I told her she's a dog over two years ago. They've stupidly invited me to their wedding, but I don't want to go. It's an invite to me '+plus 1" and involves the afternoon reception (a sit down meal in a 4 star restaurant) and evening piss up (a bus will carry you there, and drag you to the nearest b&b or trainstation after. Should be a good day out. All in all I reckon there's a good £150 worth of entertainment if you time it right. No one will know you're not me except the groom and he'll be so pissed trying to forget his new wife's a dog he won't notice. The only thing is, because she's such a dog, they might not get married, so I reserve the right to cancel the bidding.

On 16-Oct-04 at 08:59:59 BST, seller added the following information:

Since listing the tickets I've been contacted by quite a few people who think they're going to the same wedding. As it happens, 3 of you are and want to sell your tickets too. So this auction is now for 5 tickets to the wedding of a mate to a dog that we don't want to go to. Getting five of you into a wedding might be a bit of a gamble, so I'll keep the buy it now price the same, but you're now looking at at least £400 worth of free booze, good food. Even if you have to listen to her dad do karaoke, and watch her mum try to get off with the ushers.

On 18-Oct-04 at 11:50:06 BST, seller added the following information:

For those who've been asking, I can email photo's of the invite. I didn't want to post them as I thought the pink feather trmming might make it a bit too obvious which wedding I'm talking about. Suffice to say they play a pretty good version of 'livin' la vida loca' when opened.

On 19-Oct-04 at 15:29:39 BST, seller added the following information:

I'm getting a lot of questions, so thanks to everyone who's expressed an interest. Unfortunately I'm going to have to dissappoint most of you by telling you that the bridesmaids are likely to be dogs too. I know, it's a marital travesty. The bride's best mate works in a chippy in Colchester, and they always used to go boozing in Stoke with her aunt who I seem to remember had a penchant for DKNY tracksuits, Pineapple Bacardi Breezers and cafe creme. Now, on the basis there's a 100% certainty that at least one of them is a bridesmaid, there's not a lot of optimisim I can inject, is there? That and the fact that I've heard that 2 of the ushers are now trying to sell their tickets on loot having had the tip off about her mother.

Despite the vendor's admirably honest insistence that this will be the chav wedding of the millennium, the bidding for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity reached a healthy £10,000 before frivolous bets were binned and the sum settled back to a rather more sane level. Readers should note that the auction has just a couple of days left to run, so you'd better brush off that DKNY dinner jacket and get in there sharpish.

Update

The truth is out. Here's the seller's final update explaining the real reason for his shocking behaviour:

On 22-Oct-04 at 09:44:25 BST, seller added the following information:

Most of you have hit the nail on the head, you know. I still love the old dog, despite what she did to me. And, thanks to the Colchester Massiv’s "Honk if you’re Twinklydog’s Dog" campaign, she got in touch this morning and we’ve had a good chat. It’s a bit of a gamble, but I’m going to pull the auction, go to Aberdeen and see whether she’ll put a stop to this sham of a wedding and marry me instead. Hope you understand. The cab’s outside, I’ve got to go.

Bless. There's nothing quite like an (almost) happy ending to bring a tear to the eye, is there?

Related stories

Oi, Chav! Check out me website!
eBay UK is five
On the skive? Then visit eBay

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)
Clampdown on clickbait ... and El Reg is OK with this
No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate
Some assignments, even the Bongster decline must
Kaspersky backpedals on 'done nothing wrong, nothing to fear' blather
Founder (and internet passport fan) now says privacy is precious
TROLL SLAYER Google grabs $1.3 MEEELLION in patent counter-suit
Chocolate Factory hits back at firm for suing customers
Mozilla's 'Tiles' ads debut in new Firefox nightlies
You can try turning them off and on again
Facebook, Google and Instagram 'worse than drugs' says Miley Cyrus
Italian boffins agree with popette's theory that haters are the real wrecking balls
Sit tight, fanbois. Apple's '$400' wearable release slips into early 2015
Sources: time to put in plenty of clock-watching for' iWatch
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.