Hundreds of Norfolk primary school kids will not enjoy the chance to get a sneak preview of a traditional Xmas panto after porn filters binned the promotional email.

The show in question is not - as you might imagine - Jim Davidson's hilarious Sinderella, but rather an entirely innocent rendering of timeless classic Dick Whittington. Promoters emailed over 30 schools offering a free preview, but received just two replies. They later discovered that highly-tuned school systems had acted promptly to protect the children from unsolicited Dick - just one of a whole smutbag of proscribed terms which trigger an educational DEFCON 1.

Helen McDermott, who is the panto's Fairy Bowbells, told the Sun: “It’s a sad comment on our times.” A Norfolk County Council spokesman replied: “It’s unfortunate but it’s the world we live in now.”

We at El Reg would like to be among the first to protest against this madness. If it is not nipped in the bud, they'll be telling kids next they can't play conkers without donning safety goggles, or tagging the poor little blighters with RFID. ®

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