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Ukrainian teen fights the Rise of the Machines™

14-year-old terminates ATM

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A 14-year-old Ukrainian girl has struck a blow for humanity in the war against belligerent technology by completely destroying a Yalta cash machine - with her bare hands.

The plucky freedom fighter took on the avaricious ATM after it swallowed her cash card. In the ensuing battle, the youth - described by police as "looking like she couldn't hurt a fly" - caused £4,500 worth of damage to the Privatbank dispenser. The unnamed girl told the press: "I just got angry and couldn't control myself after the machine took my card. I train regularly at a local boxing club to keep fit - I guess I must have learned a few things."

Absolutely. If the young lady in question would like to contact El Reg, we have a few bits of obstreperous kit which would benefit from an application of the "Ukrainian Handshake" - starting with the UK's murderous cyberloos. ®

The Rise of the Machines™

Man in satanic Renault terror ordeal
Killer cyberappliances: Satan implicated
US develops motorised robobollard
Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie
A robot in every home by 2010
Cyberappliances attack Italian village
Fire-breathing buses threaten London
Cyberloo blast rocks Stoke-on-Trent
Spanish cyberkiosks claim second victim
Cyberkiosk assaults Spanish teenager
Hi-tech toilet caught on camera
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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