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tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a'

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Those readers thinking of making their way to this year's Munich Oktoberfest to enjoy a bit a light stein-sucking are warned that the 2004 beer beano may a livelier affair than usual.

Indeed, expect much guzzling of blood wine and spontaneous combat with the aD'k Tagh after German state broadcaster Deutsche Welle decided to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its website by offering content in Klingon and inviting the bellicose galactic warriors to enjoy the simple pleasures of a German short-break holiday.

We kid you not. Deutsche Welle's online presence - which has a comprehensive range of sections including an English-language version - now features a splendid Klingon homepage (in English), and a full-blown Klingon pull-out guide.

The rationale behind this innovation is given thus:

Ten years ago Deutsche Welle went online with the launch of the first Web site for a German public broadcaster. Since then DW-WORLD has developed into an internationally recognized source of journalistic excellence in 30 different languages. For its anniversary, Deutsche Welle is expanding to new worlds by introducing a 31st language - Klingon.

Part of which is thoughtfully given in Klingonisch as:

DIS 1994 dwelle.de taghDI' DW, tv online website wa'DIch 'oH. qaStaHvIS DISmey veb tInchoH 'ej tera'Daq noyqu'choH DW qo'

Of course, having attracted Klingons to Earth in the first place, Deutsche Welle is keen to ensure that local businesses alone should benefit from the Klingon tourist dollar. After all, it would be shame if they ended up blowing their hard-earned cash in the clubs of Ayia Napa. As Germany - an Overview for Klingons puts it: "Germany is a country located in sector 001 of the planet Earth. Its traditions, stunning landscape and international flair make it an attractive holiday destination for Klingons and other extraterrestrial life forms."

We just hope the Germans haven't bitten off more than they can chew here. While the Klingons will certainly fit right in at Munich's annual orgy of alcoholic excess, any marauding band of inebriated warriors which decides to decloak in a sleepy Bavarian village will certainly give the local maidens a shock from which neither they - nor intergalactic relations - may never recover. ®

Bootnote

We have identified three crucial phrases from Deutsche Welle's brief Klingon glossary, which we believe are essential for a successful invasion of Oktoberfest:

  • nuqDaq 'oH Qe' QaQ'e' - Where is a good restaurant?
  • jIwuQ - I have a headache.
  • jIQong vIneH - I want to sleep.

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