Feeds

Germans broadcast news in Klingon

tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top three mobile application threats

Those readers thinking of making their way to this year's Munich Oktoberfest to enjoy a bit a light stein-sucking are warned that the 2004 beer beano may a livelier affair than usual.

Indeed, expect much guzzling of blood wine and spontaneous combat with the aD'k Tagh after German state broadcaster Deutsche Welle decided to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its website by offering content in Klingon and inviting the bellicose galactic warriors to enjoy the simple pleasures of a German short-break holiday.

We kid you not. Deutsche Welle's online presence - which has a comprehensive range of sections including an English-language version - now features a splendid Klingon homepage (in English), and a full-blown Klingon pull-out guide.

The rationale behind this innovation is given thus:

Ten years ago Deutsche Welle went online with the launch of the first Web site for a German public broadcaster. Since then DW-WORLD has developed into an internationally recognized source of journalistic excellence in 30 different languages. For its anniversary, Deutsche Welle is expanding to new worlds by introducing a 31st language - Klingon.

Part of which is thoughtfully given in Klingonisch as:

DIS 1994 dwelle.de taghDI' DW, tv online website wa'DIch 'oH. qaStaHvIS DISmey veb tInchoH 'ej tera'Daq noyqu'choH DW qo'

Of course, having attracted Klingons to Earth in the first place, Deutsche Welle is keen to ensure that local businesses alone should benefit from the Klingon tourist dollar. After all, it would be shame if they ended up blowing their hard-earned cash in the clubs of Ayia Napa. As Germany - an Overview for Klingons puts it: "Germany is a country located in sector 001 of the planet Earth. Its traditions, stunning landscape and international flair make it an attractive holiday destination for Klingons and other extraterrestrial life forms."

We just hope the Germans haven't bitten off more than they can chew here. While the Klingons will certainly fit right in at Munich's annual orgy of alcoholic excess, any marauding band of inebriated warriors which decides to decloak in a sleepy Bavarian village will certainly give the local maidens a shock from which neither they - nor intergalactic relations - may never recover. ®

Bootnote

We have identified three crucial phrases from Deutsche Welle's brief Klingon glossary, which we believe are essential for a successful invasion of Oktoberfest:

  • nuqDaq 'oH Qe' QaQ'e' - Where is a good restaurant?
  • jIwuQ - I have a headache.
  • jIQong vIneH - I want to sleep.

Related stories

Star Trek flat: yours for $1m
Build your own Klingon disruptor

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE
4,000 pixels is niche now... Don't say we didn't warn you
BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
Auntie tight-lipped as major outage rolls on
iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms
But never fear fanbois, you're still lapping up iPhones, Macs
Philip K Dick 'Nazi alternate reality' story to be made into TV series
Amazon Studios, Ridley Scott firm to produce The Man in the High Castle
Amazon Reveals One Weird Trick: A Loss On Almost $20bn In Sales
Investors really hate it: Share price plunge as growth SLOWS in key AWS division
Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle
Music gear giant seeks some of that sweet, sweet Apple pie
There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES
Even France's mega subsidies don't stop US content onslaught
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
Too many IT conferences to cover? MICROSOFT to the RESCUE!
Yet more word of cuts emerges from Redmond
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.