Feeds

Germans broadcast news in Klingon

tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The next step in data security

Those readers thinking of making their way to this year's Munich Oktoberfest to enjoy a bit a light stein-sucking are warned that the 2004 beer beano may a livelier affair than usual.

Indeed, expect much guzzling of blood wine and spontaneous combat with the aD'k Tagh after German state broadcaster Deutsche Welle decided to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its website by offering content in Klingon and inviting the bellicose galactic warriors to enjoy the simple pleasures of a German short-break holiday.

We kid you not. Deutsche Welle's online presence - which has a comprehensive range of sections including an English-language version - now features a splendid Klingon homepage (in English), and a full-blown Klingon pull-out guide.

The rationale behind this innovation is given thus:

Ten years ago Deutsche Welle went online with the launch of the first Web site for a German public broadcaster. Since then DW-WORLD has developed into an internationally recognized source of journalistic excellence in 30 different languages. For its anniversary, Deutsche Welle is expanding to new worlds by introducing a 31st language - Klingon.

Part of which is thoughtfully given in Klingonisch as:

DIS 1994 dwelle.de taghDI' DW, tv online website wa'DIch 'oH. qaStaHvIS DISmey veb tInchoH 'ej tera'Daq noyqu'choH DW qo'

Of course, having attracted Klingons to Earth in the first place, Deutsche Welle is keen to ensure that local businesses alone should benefit from the Klingon tourist dollar. After all, it would be shame if they ended up blowing their hard-earned cash in the clubs of Ayia Napa. As Germany - an Overview for Klingons puts it: "Germany is a country located in sector 001 of the planet Earth. Its traditions, stunning landscape and international flair make it an attractive holiday destination for Klingons and other extraterrestrial life forms."

We just hope the Germans haven't bitten off more than they can chew here. While the Klingons will certainly fit right in at Munich's annual orgy of alcoholic excess, any marauding band of inebriated warriors which decides to decloak in a sleepy Bavarian village will certainly give the local maidens a shock from which neither they - nor intergalactic relations - may never recover. ®

Bootnote

We have identified three crucial phrases from Deutsche Welle's brief Klingon glossary, which we believe are essential for a successful invasion of Oktoberfest:

  • nuqDaq 'oH Qe' QaQ'e' - Where is a good restaurant?
  • jIwuQ - I have a headache.
  • jIQong vIneH - I want to sleep.

Related stories

Star Trek flat: yours for $1m
Build your own Klingon disruptor

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer
More than 5,500 jobs could be axed if rescue mission fails
JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!
Redmond sporran metrics get one in the ten ring
Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE
Bad news for tech-addicted fanbois behind the wheel
Murdoch to Europe: Inflict MORE PAIN on Google, please
'Platform for piracy' must be punished, or it'll kill us in FIVE YEARS
Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed
Remastered so hard it would be difficult or impossible to master it again
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought
Losses of more than $2 BILLION loom over troubled Japanese corp
Radio hams can encrypt, in emergencies, says Ofcom
Consultation promises new spectrum and hints at relaxed licence conditions
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.