Feeds

Germans broadcast news in Klingon

tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Those readers thinking of making their way to this year's Munich Oktoberfest to enjoy a bit a light stein-sucking are warned that the 2004 beer beano may a livelier affair than usual.

Indeed, expect much guzzling of blood wine and spontaneous combat with the aD'k Tagh after German state broadcaster Deutsche Welle decided to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its website by offering content in Klingon and inviting the bellicose galactic warriors to enjoy the simple pleasures of a German short-break holiday.

We kid you not. Deutsche Welle's online presence - which has a comprehensive range of sections including an English-language version - now features a splendid Klingon homepage (in English), and a full-blown Klingon pull-out guide.

The rationale behind this innovation is given thus:

Ten years ago Deutsche Welle went online with the launch of the first Web site for a German public broadcaster. Since then DW-WORLD has developed into an internationally recognized source of journalistic excellence in 30 different languages. For its anniversary, Deutsche Welle is expanding to new worlds by introducing a 31st language - Klingon.

Part of which is thoughtfully given in Klingonisch as:

DIS 1994 dwelle.de taghDI' DW, tv online website wa'DIch 'oH. qaStaHvIS DISmey veb tInchoH 'ej tera'Daq noyqu'choH DW qo'

Of course, having attracted Klingons to Earth in the first place, Deutsche Welle is keen to ensure that local businesses alone should benefit from the Klingon tourist dollar. After all, it would be shame if they ended up blowing their hard-earned cash in the clubs of Ayia Napa. As Germany - an Overview for Klingons puts it: "Germany is a country located in sector 001 of the planet Earth. Its traditions, stunning landscape and international flair make it an attractive holiday destination for Klingons and other extraterrestrial life forms."

We just hope the Germans haven't bitten off more than they can chew here. While the Klingons will certainly fit right in at Munich's annual orgy of alcoholic excess, any marauding band of inebriated warriors which decides to decloak in a sleepy Bavarian village will certainly give the local maidens a shock from which neither they - nor intergalactic relations - may never recover. ®

Bootnote

We have identified three crucial phrases from Deutsche Welle's brief Klingon glossary, which we believe are essential for a successful invasion of Oktoberfest:

  • nuqDaq 'oH Qe' QaQ'e' - Where is a good restaurant?
  • jIwuQ - I have a headache.
  • jIQong vIneH - I want to sleep.

Related stories

Star Trek flat: yours for $1m
Build your own Klingon disruptor

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Lords take revenge on REVENGE PORN publishers
Jilted Johns and Jennies with busy fingers face two years inside
Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook
New iPhone biz baron points to Apple's (his) greatest successes
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Edward who? GCHQ boss dodges Snowden topic during last speech
UK spies would rather 'walk' than do 'mass surveillance'
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.