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Ashlee Vance: the readers have spoken

Bright news for resident Reg ladyboy

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Poll results Well, the polls have closed, the votes have been counted and now it's time to reveal just what readers think of our stateside correspondent Ashlee Vance, legendary champion of the all-American Segway. Around 10,000 readers took the time to chip in their two bits' worth on the issue, so let's see if Ashlee is to be crowned with laurel or dispatched to the Vulture Central toilet block.

First up, gender: is Ashlee Vance male or female or ladyboy?

The answer is, of course, ladyboy, the option which captured 43 per cent of votes cast. 30 per cent claimed woman, while 27 per cent reckoned male. For the record, here is a picture containing Ashlee Vance. We're not sure which one of this group the campaigning shemale is, but he/she's certainly in there somewhere:

One of these people is Ashlee Vance

Having sorted that out, we can now move swiftly on to more pressing matters, such as how's Vance's writing?

Mercifully, 58 per cent of you opted for the safe "mostly IT-related, with the occasional light-hearted non-IT piece", with 22 per cent opting for "divine" and a paltry 20 per cent getting the knives out with "putrescent".

Phew. Furthermore, 46 per cent reckoned Vance a "silicon-clad St George" as opposed to a "Intel whore" or "Microsoft running dog lackey", which both corralled 27 per cent.

Of course, Vance plays air guitar to Rush, as 100 per cent of voters confirmed. Thanks to the International Friends of Rush for sponsoring that question. The cash raised will, as ever, go to our favoured charity - a Canadian seal pup refuge.

So, the upshot of all this is that a mere seven per cent of participants would like to see less of Vance on El Reg, while just 39 per cent reckon he/she should be scrubbing the toilets. That means a mighty 54 per cent demand more Vance.

And finally - before we thank all of Ashlee's friends and relatives who stayed up all night yesterday hammering the poll to ensure a favourable outcome - we're delighted to announce that an awesome 66 per cent of voters said that the poll experience: "Really brightened my day. Give me more!". The remaining 34 per cent asserted that it: "Sucked on a big fat one" and that someone should "get me Pa's shotgun from the barn". ®

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